Let go of the guilt and GLOW

I love what I do. I mean, I really love what I do.

This week, I had a phenomenal experience at one of my parties. My spectacular chiropractor and hostess set up the night with whimsy, she told all the ladies they were coming to a night of Wine Women & Wax. A couple of them thought we were having a night with wine and hair removal. We had wine, and snacks and pizza. The ladies connected and visited and rejoiced that we were in a room filled with peace and candlelight on a cold, snowy and blustery January night in Chicagoland. 

I began the night like I almost always do, sharing that I believe they did not come out to listen to me talk, but to talk to one another. I shared all the great specials they can take advantage of so they can get the best deal on their shopping, a quick and fun pass the gift game, and a couple quick tidbits.

• Consider creating a space just for you in your home where you can regroup, unwind and recharge at the end of the day.
• When women get together they physically produce more of a chemical oxytocin which reduces stress.
• They are all getting important anti-oxidants by sharing that glass of wine.

As the evening wound down, I received the most wonderful compliments that the ladies were so impressed with my "presentation" and that they really enjoyed connecting with one another, and had never been to another "home party" that gave them that opportunity. And I noted that another amazing thing that happens when women get together, is that we build each other up. We support one another, we comfort one another, we encourage one another, we exchange advice, we commiserate by sharing similar experiences and the compliments flow. 

How often do you get compliments every day?

Ladies, we spend so much of our lives caring for all those around us. You know you do. And you know you should be taking care of yourself better, you know that "self care stuff" is something you should be doing, but because it's for you, you never get to it. And why is it that this falls off of your list every week? 

Because you feel guilty doing for yourself.

Add to this, every time you chat with your girlfriend - sometimes via text or facebook message - you promise that you have to get together sometime soon, it's been too long. We can't let it go this long again. And the exact same thing happens. You never get to it. And why? 

Because you feel guilty doing for yourself.

But this time, the guilt is a double whammy - you're damned if you do and damned if you don't because you feel guilty to "do for yourself" by making the time to spend with your girlfriend or you feel guilty for not keeping your promise to your girlfriend.

How can you win?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You need to take your self-care seriously. I have been thrilled to watch the "extreme self care" practice of Kelly O'Neil as she prepared for her amazing women's leadership conference. 

Take a stand for yourself. If your doctor said you had to make an appointment, you would. This is critical to your mental and physical well being. Say no to the guilt. Make a date with your favorite girls. Luxuriate in one another's company. Notice the glow each and every one of you has after spending time together.       

   
Grab some more great and easy tips for your guilt-free self care in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html 
  

Dream a little dream

Do you remember when you were young and you used to daydream? You had no limits, no boundaries, you would think of places you wanted to go, people you wanted to meet, jobs you wanted to try, thinks you wanted to do, things you wanted to have...

You could be a race car driver, a doctor, an astronaut, a fairy princess.
You could live in Paris, or Rome or on the moon.
Your house could be a castle, or a mansion or a toadstool.

When is the last time you let yourself just daydream? No rules, no restrictions. Just dream.

I have several colleagues, mentors and friends who journal. I have a really hard time with the journaling process, but as I was thinking of trying it again
I considered the idea of daydream journaling.

Just let your mind wander and think of anything that pops up. 

Things you would love to have - a new car, a dream home, a new kitchen, a new laptop, a pet monkey.

Places you would love to visit - Paris, the zoo, Egypt.

People you would love to see - far away family or friends, real or imagined characters from books or movies.

Jobs you would love to do - be a fireman, an astronaut, the president, a ballerina.

Allowing our mind to free flow like this is a great form of self-care. Letting go of the constant thoughts of your stressors, your lists and obligations is more than just cathartic, it's soothing, it's a release.

AND ... you just don't know what silly, or wild and crazy daydream could plant the seed for your next venture, your dream home, your next career, the solution to a problem that's been vexing you.

Have learn to meditate on your "to do list"? This is a great way to do that too!

I dare you, set aside 15 minutes to just daydream. No guilt allowed!
Do you think it could reduce your stress? I do! 

Find more tips and ideas in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html     
 

Playing Hooky

Did you ever play hooky in school? Maybe it was senior skip day, or maybe you snuck out before last period one day. 

It's kind of an exhilarating feeling. This feeling of hard won freedom, though in truth, you didn't work hard to earn it, you took a risk, right? And your reward is some time, an hour, an afternoon, or a day doing something you really enjoy, feeling rejuvenated and this fun sense of invigoration.

I got to thinking about this today as it relates to what I do. I help women play hooky from their to-do lists.
Very often, when I get together with a group of women, I start out by asking them what they would be doing if they weren't there, enjoying some wine, women and wax. Typically, the answers are somewhere in the range of housework, homework, yard work or errands. We all proceed to thank the fabulous lady who is hosting the gathering that evening for getting us out of all of that!

Most women I know, are overworked, overwhelmed or under appreciated (sometimes all of the above).
We run from one thing to the next, always scanning the next 5 things on our to do list. If we're not working, we're taking care of the kids, or our parents, or our significant others, or a friend or family member in crisis. If we're not actively caring for another human being, we're chauffeuring the kids to or from an event, or running errands, or volunteering, or participating in the PTA or other committee. If we're not running around, we're doing housework, laundry, or homework.

When do we get time for US? How many of you find yourself moving your personal to-dos from this week's list to next week's list? Hair or nail appointments, exercise programs or plans, lunch or coffee with your girlfriend?

So how about it? How would you like to play hooky for a couple of hours? 


What would you do?



Wanna find out how you can reduce stress and guilt at the same time? Grab my free guide: www.winewomenandwax.biz/freebie.html

All work and no play...

If you recognize this image, you know what happened to Jack. 

Now, we are not in a Stephen King novel, nor are we stuck in a secluded snowed in resort in the middle of winter with supernatural forces playing against our sanity.

However, we are working women, women business owners, women entrepreneurs. When there is work to be done, we are the ones to do it, right? We have a business to run and a household to run.

Here is the danger. Real life poses a much bigger threat than any thriller novel could capture. We also have a life to run. And not just run, enjoy. 
I mean E N J O Y!!!! Savor, indulge, live, experience!!!

We only get one shot at this thing called life. This isn't a dress rehearsal.

If we stay buried in work, our life will pass by without our participation. 

I know it's not Christmas, but my mind turns to Scrooge in the Dickens novel. Through a series of life events, he chose to bury himself in his work to the neglect of all those around him. The spirits showed him that if he didn't change his ways, he would end up alone.

I am certainly not suggesting that you will end up alone, nor will you end up going insane and on a rampage like Jack in The Shining. 

But you are going to miss the best parts of life waiting for them to come. 

Work is truly important. More for women entrepreneurs than for any other segment of the working world, because we are working with a mission, a purpose. We are striving daily to bring more joy, health, freedom, and the list goes on to the world. For many, our work IS a source of joy and that is a blessing and a gift.

But this does NOT exclude you from the need to play!!!!!! 

Every day find a way to play. You don't have to take the afternoon off, but do it. 

• If you pass a park with a swing on your lunch break, take 5 minutes and soar
• If you are walking down a sidewalk that has been chalked with a hopscotch board, HOP
• Look up at the clouds and SPIN - unless you have vertigo of course
• Turn off the television and computer and pull out a board game tonight
• Blow bubbles 

Find a way to play.

Today, I am going on a picnic, and then a sail on a Tall Ship on Lake Michigan along the Chicago skyline with my amazing husband. 

I'd love to hear how you played today!

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How YOU Doin?

Few people I know don't hear the voice of Matt LeBlanc as the character Joey Tribbiani from Friends when they see that phrase or hear those words. 

And I think it typically brings a smile - at least to most.
I saw Matt LeBlanc on my favorite chat show and he told a story that his daughter antagonizes him by intentionally saying it wrong "How are YOU doing?" He says through clenched teeth "And I KNOW she knows how to say it right!"


When asked this question today, how would you respond? Do you actually share how you are? Do you just reply "good" or "well" automatically?

Equally as important a question. When you ask someone else that question today, do you truly listen to the response?
Do you even ask the question in response after being asked how you are? 

My husband went to college with a guy who exemplified this lack of connection. His standard greeting was "Hey, How's it going." and NO MATTER what the person said in response, he'd reply "Cool."

You may expect me to share a tip on how to take your good to great today or something similar, but I have a completely different type of challenge for you.

First, a tidbit.

Nearly every single day, I'm greeted by a stranger who asks me how I'm doing. 

It may be a cashier, a waiter, a doctor's assistant, someone at a networking event, doesn't matter. 

Nearly every day, I watch their face change when they hear my response. I see their mood change, and I see a noticeable pause in whatever task they were performing. 

I'd say at least 75% of the time their reply is something OTHER than "good" or "OK" in response. My response causes them to change theirs, even if they don't match my level of enthusiasm, which they often comment about. 

"Well, I'm darned good, I don't know if I can be fabulous, but I'm having a darned good day!"

Now, I am fairly bubbly, and I greet them with a beaming smile, but I think there are 2 things that cause them to pause and also result in their response being something OTHER than "good" or "well".

1. The word I choose is different, a word not often used in current conversation.
   
2. The word I choose is typically superlative (Super! Fabulous! Spectacular! Fantastic!)

Also, about 60% of the time, they genuinely thank me for asking how they are doing, and caring I suppose.

Now, I'm not asking you to do the 2nd thing, especially if it's not genuine, because that is just plain annoying and no one is fooled!

So, here is my challenge to you today. Whatever your mood, even if it's sour - now DON'T be the person that spills their every ache and pain and trouble to anyone who makes the mistake of asking how you are - take the half second pause it will require and think of a unique word or phrase to use.

Some ideas to get you started:

If you're having a horrible day you could say:

• Introspective
• A little dull
• A bit curious
• A little scattered

If you're "just OK" you could say:

• Mysterious
• Pleasant
• Just Chillin'

If you are "good" you could say:

• Crazy
• Amused
• Delightful
• Jolly - especially if it's NOT Christmas
• Excited

If you want to kick it up a notch and be superlative you could say:

• Magnificent
• Outstanding
• On Fire
• Glorious
• Splendid
• High on Life
• A party waiting to happen

Give it a try. It's almost as fun as the smile game! See who you can pause with your reply today! You just might make their day!

Share in the comments today --- so, How YOU doin?

Friday Fun day it's easy to lower that stress and find your "Happy Place"

It's Friday, and I'm a day late on my 2nd post of the week. 
 

Friday is fun day. It's an easy day to let go of stress and find our Happy Place. One of my girlfriends has a party every single Friday night, and no she's not 23. She gets the importance of connecting and unwinding and has established her home as a spot where friends and family know they can escape to at the end of a busy week.
That's me smack in the middle :) 




I share often that a HUGE way to relieve your stress as a woman is to physically get together with other women. There is an actual change in our brain chemistry when we are together that increases our serotonin levels. 

~ There is some evidence to support the theory that this is a result of pheromones, the same phenomenon that causes women's menstrual cycles to synchronize ~ 

However the science behind it works, I think we all know that my signature phrase "6 girlfriends and a bottle of wine" is a sure fire way to forget your troubles, reduce your stress and find your "Happy Place".




While I can't spend my normal full Friday late night at my girlfriends this week as I have a few things to finish getting set up at home for my big Launch Party on Sunday and Monday, I do look forward to popping by, celebrating the birthday of a friend (with a little relax with wax birthday gift) and getting my connection on. 



 


What are you doing on this Friday Fun day to lower your stress and find your "Happy Place"? I'd love to hear about it!