Let go of the guilt and GLOW

I love what I do. I mean, I really love what I do.

This week, I had a phenomenal experience at one of my parties. My spectacular chiropractor and hostess set up the night with whimsy, she told all the ladies they were coming to a night of Wine Women & Wax. A couple of them thought we were having a night with wine and hair removal. We had wine, and snacks and pizza. The ladies connected and visited and rejoiced that we were in a room filled with peace and candlelight on a cold, snowy and blustery January night in Chicagoland. 

I began the night like I almost always do, sharing that I believe they did not come out to listen to me talk, but to talk to one another. I shared all the great specials they can take advantage of so they can get the best deal on their shopping, a quick and fun pass the gift game, and a couple quick tidbits.

• Consider creating a space just for you in your home where you can regroup, unwind and recharge at the end of the day.
• When women get together they physically produce more of a chemical oxytocin which reduces stress.
• They are all getting important anti-oxidants by sharing that glass of wine.

As the evening wound down, I received the most wonderful compliments that the ladies were so impressed with my "presentation" and that they really enjoyed connecting with one another, and had never been to another "home party" that gave them that opportunity. And I noted that another amazing thing that happens when women get together, is that we build each other up. We support one another, we comfort one another, we encourage one another, we exchange advice, we commiserate by sharing similar experiences and the compliments flow. 

How often do you get compliments every day?

Ladies, we spend so much of our lives caring for all those around us. You know you do. And you know you should be taking care of yourself better, you know that "self care stuff" is something you should be doing, but because it's for you, you never get to it. And why is it that this falls off of your list every week? 

Because you feel guilty doing for yourself.

Add to this, every time you chat with your girlfriend - sometimes via text or facebook message - you promise that you have to get together sometime soon, it's been too long. We can't let it go this long again. And the exact same thing happens. You never get to it. And why? 

Because you feel guilty doing for yourself.

But this time, the guilt is a double whammy - you're damned if you do and damned if you don't because you feel guilty to "do for yourself" by making the time to spend with your girlfriend or you feel guilty for not keeping your promise to your girlfriend.

How can you win?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You need to take your self-care seriously. I have been thrilled to watch the "extreme self care" practice of Kelly O'Neil as she prepared for her amazing women's leadership conference. 

Take a stand for yourself. If your doctor said you had to make an appointment, you would. This is critical to your mental and physical well being. Say no to the guilt. Make a date with your favorite girls. Luxuriate in one another's company. Notice the glow each and every one of you has after spending time together.       

   
Grab some more great and easy tips for your guilt-free self care in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html 
  

Dream a little dream

Do you remember when you were young and you used to daydream? You had no limits, no boundaries, you would think of places you wanted to go, people you wanted to meet, jobs you wanted to try, thinks you wanted to do, things you wanted to have...

You could be a race car driver, a doctor, an astronaut, a fairy princess.
You could live in Paris, or Rome or on the moon.
Your house could be a castle, or a mansion or a toadstool.

When is the last time you let yourself just daydream? No rules, no restrictions. Just dream.

I have several colleagues, mentors and friends who journal. I have a really hard time with the journaling process, but as I was thinking of trying it again
I considered the idea of daydream journaling.

Just let your mind wander and think of anything that pops up. 

Things you would love to have - a new car, a dream home, a new kitchen, a new laptop, a pet monkey.

Places you would love to visit - Paris, the zoo, Egypt.

People you would love to see - far away family or friends, real or imagined characters from books or movies.

Jobs you would love to do - be a fireman, an astronaut, the president, a ballerina.

Allowing our mind to free flow like this is a great form of self-care. Letting go of the constant thoughts of your stressors, your lists and obligations is more than just cathartic, it's soothing, it's a release.

AND ... you just don't know what silly, or wild and crazy daydream could plant the seed for your next venture, your dream home, your next career, the solution to a problem that's been vexing you.

Have learn to meditate on your "to do list"? This is a great way to do that too!

I dare you, set aside 15 minutes to just daydream. No guilt allowed!
Do you think it could reduce your stress? I do! 

Find more tips and ideas in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html     
 

Things to do, places to be and an attitude adjustment

This week I had to give myself a serious attitude adjustment. I had fallen into that trap that happens this time of year, as we get closer to the holiday and my list of things to do stays the same, but my list of social obligations grows. 

This weekend is my baking weekend. For me, this is a fairly good sized task Sneek a peek at the madness. I typically spend one day from roughly 9am to midnight and then a second day nearly as long. This weekend, we have social obligations Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday evening. 

We were planning to swap one Saturday evening obligation for another when we got word that Mike's family was coming in from out of town, as we haven't seen them in several years. Then we got word that the family gathering was to be at 4pm more than an hour away. 

All I could think of was how it affected my baking schedule, and began to fret about how I would get everything done. I had a great deal of trouble sleeping as I worried and worried. 

Thankfully, a night's sleep gave me an attitude adjustment. What is important is spending time with family and loved ones. The lists of things will or won't get done, and everyone will certainly understand. 

So, I told Mike today that we need to attend our original Saturday night engagement after our family gathering and I'll figure out the baking the best I can, but if we have the good fortune to have friends, family and loved ones that are near by, who invite us to gather and celebrate, and we have the most exceptional fortune to have my pilot husband home to attend said gatherings, we need to remember what is important. 

So, today's advise is: your friends and loved ones will care less about what they received as a gift, or how many, or whether your bannister has the perfect amount of garland on it than they will about the memories you share as you come together this holiday season. If given the choice between completing tasks and joining with friends and loved ones, please choose the loved ones. You may make a memory of a life time.
 

Stop and smell the Christmas Spirit

I look at my schedule for December filled with gatherings and get togethers, fun and festivities, and I think to myself, "This is my favorite holiday!" 


In Chicago, we have been having some seriously crazy weather, and we're enjoying it, but it's a little weird. On Sunday, leaving a party, I said to my hostess - Christmas music and air conditioning, it just doesn't seem right!

As I look forward to this month of caring and sharing, rejoicing and reconnecting, I am reminded of some advice I got when I was planning my wedding many years ago. 

Pay attention and enjoy the planning. The day comes and goes so fast it's like a blur. Relish every moment of the preparation.

I was thankful I followed that advice as we took a full year to plan our wedding, and true to the predictions, the day was so fast. I captured moments and committed them to memory. Thank goodness for wonderful friends with cameras that captured great moments as well.

I find we do much the same in preparation for the holidays. We make plans for a big party, or our family gathering. There's the shopping and the decorating and the wrapping and the baking. All in a rush looking at the deadline on the clock. Then December 26th arrives and the presents are gone and many start taking down the decorations and the melancholy creeps in. 

As you are making your lists and checking them twice this holiday season, take some time to stop and embrace the magic. Go ice skating, walk down your favorite city street and look at the lights, enjoy a mug of cocoa, mulled cider or egg nog. 

You'll be happy you did! 

Share what magic you plan to take a moment to enjoy this year!  

Hey! I'm going to be on the radio! LIVE on Wednesday, December 12th @ 7:00 PM CST at www.CashFlowShowRadio.com
You can listen live, via replay, see the schedule and download the Smartphone app at: www.CashFlowShowRadio.com
 
Get your free guide: “Self Care Tips for Personal and Professional Success”
www.winewomenandwax.biz/freebie.html

Is that my Mom?

Growing up, we all had rules, right? You had to do the hard or unpleasant stuff to get the good stuff.

Eat your vegetables, then you can have dessert

Do your chores, then you can have your allowance

Finish your homework, then you can go out and play

As an adult, don't you still hear your mom's voice sometimes when you break the rules? When you think of having a nibble of chocolate before dinner? When you think of sitting down to catch your favorite show in the middle of your weekly cleaning? When your girlfriend calls to ask you to lunch but you have a to-do list a mile long? 

Remember when you were a kid and you couldn't wait to grow up so you could make your OWN rules? It happened! You're a grown up. You can make your own rules. You can have dessert first if you like. You can set aside your cleaning and watch your favorite show or go for a walk. You can meet your girlfriend for cocktails, coffee or lunch no matter what's on your list.

When you hear your Mom's voice in your head, gently remind her that in your house, you get to make the rules. If your Mom was anything like mine, she even told you that, remember? 

Make new rules! Treat yourself! Grab a glass of wine, or whatever your favorite beverage is and give yourself 30 minutes tonight even if you don't have all your chores done and find out how you can get refreshed and reduce your stress with 3 Surprising Self-Care Secrets for Busy Women in this 30 minute FREE webinar

Indulgence

When you hear the word indulgence, you may picture some over privileged, vapid starlet like a Paris Hilton or a Snooki running amok or enjoying excessive luxuries. 

Small, sweet, simple indulgence can be a spectacular way to practice self care.
It can be a physical treat, I have discovered the most remarkable coffee called Highlander Grog that has a hint of butterscotch flavor. It feels sinful but it's just black coffee. I allow myself to sip my second cup in the morning slowly while I watch my dog romp in the yard. 

Something small but wonderful like a square of deep dark chocolate.

 


 It can be an activity, I invite you to check out this great little book: An Indulgence a Day: 365 Simple Ways to Spoil Yourself by Andrea Norville & Patrick Menton

Swing on a swing, make a snow angel

 


It can be going back to your High School days, and getting a flavored lip gloss in a color that compliments your favorite lipstick.

Indulgence can be a small gift you give yourself to make you feel good, feel special, feel loved. And THAT is self-care!

Indulge yourself! Mark your calendars, grab a cocktail and give yourself 30 minutes to earn how you can reduce and relieve stress with 3 Surprising Self-Care Secrets for Busy Women in this 30 minute FREE webinar

Sometimes life is Spartan Tough

Last weekend, I completed the Super Spartan obstacle mud run. I definitely under estimated the level of hard core that they would bring to this course. As an endurance athlete, I've completed 4 half marathons, a 10K, 2 marathons, and a triathlon. I've done the Warrior Dash (another obstacle race) twice previously and I knew I would be under trained, but I had NO IDEA! 

 

At the half way point, I reached the first obstacle that my wonderful spectating husband could see me at. He asked how I was doing, and dutifully snapped a few pics. I told him, this may be the first race I DNF (did not finish). I had no idea what I was in for. The second half was far worse than the first and he was there for the last half dozen or so obstacles and sets of burpees - ugh! But I did finish, I didn't give up. Thank goodness for the awesome nature of the other athletes on these types of courses, everyone helps each other. Being 5' 3 1/2" , there was a lot I really couldn't do on my own, no one hesitated to give me a boost or an arm up. This is me coming back down an 8' wall.

Sometimes, life is just like that. You think you know what you're in for, you may even realize you're not quite prepared, but you think you at least know what to expect. You may have to climb an obstacle that is much taller than you first realized...

 You may get stuck and feel like you keep slipping backwards, like you'll never make it out. 






But whether you realize it at first or not, there are always people around to help you. You just have to be willing to accept the help offered to you. As long as you don't give up, you will prevail over whatever life throws at you.

And, when I finally got home, I was happy I knew the formula to create the most soothing relaxing bath EVER even though that is not a normal treat for me. Our tub is small and not very deep. I brought in our little step stool to serve as my bath-side table, the book I'm currently reading and a cold bottle of my recently completed home brewed milk stout. Aaaaaaahhhhhh



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Learn how you can reduce and relieve stress with 3 Surprising Self-Care Secrets for Busy Women in this 30 minute FREE webinar
http://www.anymeeting.com/PIID=E950DC8282473F

Fall Harvest

The cooler weather is a joyful blessing in our house. We love having the windows open and the cooler air breezing through the house.

This time of year, we see all the farmers harvesting and gathering their crops. I got to musing, it's the season where we all harvest and gather our friends and loved ones as well.

Summer is busy with vacations, and more individual activities. There are the occasional picnics or Barbeques but by and large, everyone seems to be focused on the kids summer activities, or the family vacations and not a lot on just gathering with friends and other loved ones.

As fall arrives with it's subtle color changes, and invitation to gather by the fire, we find ourselves reconnecting with our friends and loved ones. At least, I sure do. 

I enjoyed a FABULOUS dinner with my best girlfriend this week - wine and sushi! It was marvelous. And we committed to a date on the calendar for dinner just us two once a month at a minimum :D

With the kids back in school and on a more regular schedule, I've planned dinner with another girlfriend this month as well.

And don't forget... this gathering with our friends does magnitudes to reduce and help manage our stress levels. Just one more reason for 6 girlfriends and a bottle of wine.

What do you think, does the change of seasons and the cooler temps call you to gather with your friends?
I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

I need a vacation

I needed a reboot!

How many times do we say "I need a vacation"? 

How often do you come back from vacation feeling no more refreshed than when you left? Possibly your stress levels even increase as a result of having to "catch up" on all the work that piled on while you were away?

We just got back from our annual pilgrimage to Atlanta, GA. It was our tenth year and it was the first time I got a total reboot.
This is not a typical vacation, we don't visit museums or lay on the beach or relax at the day spa. It is a music festival over 4 days the first 2 days are 3 hours of music each and the second 2 days are 14 hours of music each. 

We stay up until 5am (this is a picture of one of our parties in the courtyard) and sleep until 11am and don't stop laughing in between. We have made a lot of really true, great and amazing friends in the 10 years we have been attending the festival and the best and most important part of the trip every year is catching up with them. 

What made this year different for me, and I didn't realize it at the time, was that I completely unplugged. 

I didn't bring my laptop to keep up on Facebook and email. 

I brought cash so I didn't worry about how much money we were spending and whether we could afford x or y or z. 

I was 100% present the entire time. 

Really truly letting go of your cares, work, stress and worries is a blessing we don't afford ourselves. 

I honestly can't remember the last time I did it really. *REALLY*
Coming back from vacation is always a struggle and a transition, and I would definitely say that it was worse than normal for me this year. I felt foggier than normal, and more disconnected from everything. That's when I realized, my brain actually got a reboot. 

And I feel phenomenal! Energized, engaged, enthused and ready to take on the world!

I totally recommend this for everyone! Find something to commit 100% of your attention to. For at least 1 entire day, 2 is better. No thoughts of housework, or to do lists, or commitments, or children, or parents or bills or work.
None. Not a single one.

Come back and share how refreshed YOU feel!

How to relax at home

You make it home at the end of the day, physically worn out and mentally exhausted.
You have to figure out what's for dinner, prepare it and clean up afterward. And you still have an entire day's worth of activities yet to complete. 

If you're a mom, there's practice, recitals, games, homework, and more. 

If you're a wife, your husband always needs help preparing for a trip, meeting, or just getting to the office tomorrow. 

Pets need to be fed, dogs need to be walked, litter boxes, hamster/gerbil/lizard cages and fish tanks need to be cleaned. And none of this even includes the daily tasks associated with running your household. These are just the things you do to take care of everyone around you.

By the time you get ready for bed at the end of the day, you realize you haven't spent one moment thinking about yourself. That exercise routine you've been meaning to start, that will have to wait another week. Getting your nails done, or hair trimmed, maybe you can make that appointment next week.

You probably can't even remember the last time you had a glass of wine or a cup of coffee with your best girlfriend.

So what's the solution? Creating a space where you can relax after work. 

Women, especially, need a place in their home that is just for them. Whether it is a bedroom or bathroom sanctuary, or a quiet corner of a living room with a comfy chair and a book-stand. Or a beautiful backyard deck, patio, swing or hammock. 

Women need to allow themselves that special place where they can unwind and recharge. It's not a luxury, it's critical to our well being and the well being of all those we care for. Though women may keep a household running and everyone else's spaces clean and functioning, we don't always have a place of our own. If your home is small or there are many living in your household, the need for your special space is even more crucial.

We need that space where we can relax, regroup and recharge so we can face the next day, or on some days, the rest of today. Our homes are the natural venues for these special sanctuaries.

We need to be able to close our doors (and lock them if we need to) and breathe a relaxing sigh. Feeling safe and comfortable in our homes or just one special room can help us cope. A place where you can relax, meditate, exercise, create, and/or pamper yourself.  We all need that place where we can just relax and allow our bodies, minds, and spirits to flourish.

Your personal sanctuary is:

your "girl cave"
your safe space
your escape
your hideaway
your me place

Your STRESS FREE ZONE

Key elements to include when designing your personal sanctuary are Fragrance, Lighting, beauty and space.

Did you know that fragrance is the one of our five senses that is most closely linked to memories? Think about what comes to mind when you smell pumpkin pie, or bonfire smoke, or fresh baked bread or cookies

Have you ever noticed that lighting is directly linked to mood? Think about how you feel when it's sunny, cloudy, you're in bright fluorescent light, you're in soft candle light.

Beauty and space create energy. Think about your energy level when you're in a cluttered area of your home like a storage area or a closet or when you're in your favorite room or looking at your favorite landscape.

For me, at this time of year, my mind drifts to a perfect outdoor escape.

The nights are getting cooler, and it's perfect for a bonfire.

The days are pleasant and you can relax on your deck, patio, swing or hammock and read or just get lost in your thoughts.

The final element for your personal sanctuary is boundaries. 

If your family isn't great at respecting yours (and most aren't so don't feel bad about this) make a sign or a door hanger. Allow your kids to do the same for a pre-defined amount of time per day or per week so they feel empowered to claim their alone time and will be less likely to intrude on yours.

Let them know that your time will not exceed (fill in the blank with your needed time - 1 hour, 2 hours, half an hour) and that they will get your full attention when that time is up. 

If you are feeling like you may burn out, it’s not your fault, but it's been long enough!
You haven’t been shown yet how easy it can be to claim your space.
You haven't been given permission to put you first, even for 2 hours.
You know you should be taking better care of yourself, but you always find yourself taking care of someone else instead. 

If you do nothing else, grab my free report and you'll also get my BONUS Report: How to create your personal sanctuary. 

If we create a space together, and you decide when it is complete that it doesn't melt your stress, you can return anything or everything for any reason at all (even "I changed my mind") for a full refund for a full year.

Click here to schedule your Wine, Women and Wax night where

• I will help you find a way to schedule self-time; only 2-3 hours, but this alone reduces stress more than you might think. 

• I will help you re-connect with your favorite friends and family. Did you know that physically getting together as women actually creates a chemical reaction in our brains and increases our serotonin levels, which both reduces stress and increases our level of happiness. 

• I will teach you how to create this personal space in your home where you can unplug, unwind and recharge, just by adding accents, lighting and fragrance. So that when your girlfriends and a bottle of wine aren't handy, you can still take that stress number down a couple notches.