Women wear a lot of hats

How true is that? 

• What woman you know doesn't do at least 3 jobs?
• Who makes it look effortless most of the time?
• Who doesn't get thanked enough?
• Who slowly and quietly gets more overwhelmed each day?
• Who seldom complains about the load she bears?

And of all the hats we wear, we are nearly always supporting, doing or caring for someone else. 
 
So, when do you decide it's time to take care of you? And if you ever make this difficult and guilt inspiring decision, who is it that does take care of you?

Run down the list of hats you wear in a typical day, or week, or month, and consider how those who are paid as professionals in each field demand to be treated and served. 

Chefs have dishwashers, most professions have secretaries, or assistants, some professions have entire staff to tend to things that are outside their expertise.

And you, a busy professional woman, do all of these, only get paid for one maybe two of them and insist that your needs can wait.

and wait...

and wait...

and wait...

But what happens when they can't wait any longer? What happens when you finally hit that tipping point? What happens when you burn out mentally, emotionally or physically?

People in your life will step up and pitch in and they will care for you. And then you'll feel even more guilty.

So what if you decided that taking care of you, self-care, that thing that you know you're supposed to do, but just never manage to get around to, was important. What if you decided that it was a priority? 

What if you could come up with a way to do that on a regular basis and not feel guilty? 

Impossible?

Maybe not.

There are a thousand little things you can do in a day to lower your stress level and take a little bit of self-care without neglecting your loved ones, your business or your ever growing to-do list. 

Here are a few to inspire you to do a little self-care today...

• Give yourself a mini facial - grab one of those sets of beauty products you bought but never took the time to use and do all the steps. Enjoy the glow and great feeling skin.
• Listen to your favorite song. Turn the volume up loud. Before you pick up the kids, sing all the lyrics at the top of your lungs and chair dance if you want to.
• Call your best girlfriend and share a funny memory.
• Do a random act of kindness for someone who can not return the favor, but a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line, pay a parking meter, give a McDonalds or Subway gift card to a homeless person.
• Send yourself a note or card - in the mail. 
• Watch your favorite movie.

Find more tips and ideas in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html        

Resolve to Regress this year

As the calendar year turns to begin anew, I, like most people, consider my plans for the year. Goals, commitments, vacations, plans...

One of the first things on my list is to plan for races I intend to complete in the coming year. Having finished 2 Warrior Dashes, and now my first Super Spartan, I am completely obsessed with obstacle races. 

Like many, I have significant goals to lose weight and improve my fitness in the coming year, to add emphasis to this, my company's annual incentive trip this year is to Hawaii for 6 days and 5 nights. As my husband and myself are extremely excited to earn and attend this year's trip, I am planning my training with added vigor. 

So, I started reading the Spartan Race eBook - all things training and mindset related to prepare you for a Spartan Race. A line jumped out at me and caught my attention

"When we were young, we loved to climb, run, jump and swing. We loved to play. It's part of who we are, yet it's often absent from our adult lives."

As kids, we loved to feel the wind in our hair, the sun on our face and the grass (or dirt or sand) under our feet. As we have moved through this thing called life, we work more and play less. So much less, in fact, that we lose the desire to play.

This year, as you make your list of hopes and dreams, your goals and resolutions, I propose that you resolve to regress. 

Go back. Go back to your youth and grab that vitality you had, grab the desire to go out and play. Run. Jump. Swing. Dance. Spin. Climb. Soar. 

Imagine how much younger you could feel as 2014 comes around. How's that for self care?

Have you grabbed your free guide yet? What are you waiting for? 
http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html      

 

Routine

I felt so proud of myself this weekend. 

Has anyone else bought those 4 step face care systems but almost never do all 4 steps? You know you should, you understand the steps and why they work. In my case, the system corrected my adult onset acne, so I totally get it, but in the frenzy of my morning and evening routines, I convince myself that I can't spare the 1 or 2 minutes it would take to complete "the whole thing" which I think I imagine to be like an hour in my mind. You have to wash, exfoliate, tone, spot treat and hydrate, and then there's the mask! Heck, half the time, I take my eye makeup off, but don't even manage to wash the rest of the makeup off. It's such a small thing, such a minute amount of time, but I manage to make myself believe that I can't spare even that. 

But this Saturday, I held myself to my commitment to myself. I worked out, and I did my whole face care routine in the morning. It took less than 5 minutes. I didn't manage to do it in the evening as well, but I added it to 1 routine and it made me feel GREAT!

It's funny how we can make excuses not to do the things we know we should do for ourselves, for our health and well being, even when they are small. We aren't really saving that much time for other activities, but we think we are.

But here's the cool thing... once you make these tiny adjustments and add them to your routine, you start taking better care of yourself without the herculean effort you think it requires. 

You wouldn't think of waking up or going to bed without brushing your teeth, right? It's just routine.

Sorry, had to throw in a bit of a chuckle there :) 
 
Choose something tiny, miniscule that you know you should be doing to take care of yourself. Something you've been meaning and meaning and meaning to do, but keep finding reasons not to. Add it to 1 of your daily routines. Remember, it takes 30 days to make a habit, so do it for 30 days, and see the difference it makes!

I'd love to hear the item you are going to add!

Hey! I'm going to be on the radio! LIVE on Wednesday, December 12th @ 7:00 PM CST at www.CashFlowShowRadio.com
You can listen live, via replay, see the schedule and download the Smartphone app at: www.CashFlowShowRadio.com
 
Get your free guide: “Self Care Tips for Personal and Professional Success”
www.winewomenandwax.biz/freebie.html
      

Self care doesn't have to be hard...

It can be soft, really soft 

Did you get your hug today?

You've heard you are supposed to be practicing self-care, right? And sometimes it feels like just one more thing to add to your to-do list rather than something to actually reduce your stress level, right?

It doesn't have to be big, it doesn't have to be difficult. It can be short, it can be simple. It can be a hug.

Hugging is a great self-care ritual.

"We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”  Virginia Satir

Recent medical research at University of North Carolina found that both blood pressure and levels of Cortisol, the hormone produced when we’re under stress, were significantly lowered (particularly in women) when subjects hugged their partners for at least twenty seconds.

A 20 second hug is the optimal length - it is just long enough to trigger the release of oxytocin -- the "love drug"

Practice some great self-care today and help a friend do the same - hug someone!

Leading up to my upcoming webinar, I'm sending out daily mini self-care stress relief tidbits. Catch them on my Facebook page or on twitter.

Mark your calendar! Tuesday, November 13, 7:00 PM
Learn how you can reduce and relieve stress with 3 Surprising Self-Care Secrets for Busy Women in this 30 minute FREE webinar

Sometimes life is Spartan Tough

Last weekend, I completed the Super Spartan obstacle mud run. I definitely under estimated the level of hard core that they would bring to this course. As an endurance athlete, I've completed 4 half marathons, a 10K, 2 marathons, and a triathlon. I've done the Warrior Dash (another obstacle race) twice previously and I knew I would be under trained, but I had NO IDEA! 

 

At the half way point, I reached the first obstacle that my wonderful spectating husband could see me at. He asked how I was doing, and dutifully snapped a few pics. I told him, this may be the first race I DNF (did not finish). I had no idea what I was in for. The second half was far worse than the first and he was there for the last half dozen or so obstacles and sets of burpees - ugh! But I did finish, I didn't give up. Thank goodness for the awesome nature of the other athletes on these types of courses, everyone helps each other. Being 5' 3 1/2" , there was a lot I really couldn't do on my own, no one hesitated to give me a boost or an arm up. This is me coming back down an 8' wall.

Sometimes, life is just like that. You think you know what you're in for, you may even realize you're not quite prepared, but you think you at least know what to expect. You may have to climb an obstacle that is much taller than you first realized...

 You may get stuck and feel like you keep slipping backwards, like you'll never make it out. 






But whether you realize it at first or not, there are always people around to help you. You just have to be willing to accept the help offered to you. As long as you don't give up, you will prevail over whatever life throws at you.

And, when I finally got home, I was happy I knew the formula to create the most soothing relaxing bath EVER even though that is not a normal treat for me. Our tub is small and not very deep. I brought in our little step stool to serve as my bath-side table, the book I'm currently reading and a cold bottle of my recently completed home brewed milk stout. Aaaaaaahhhhhh



Get your free guide: “Self Care Tips for Personal and Professional Success”
www.winewomenandwax.biz/freebie.html


Learn how you can reduce and relieve stress with 3 Surprising Self-Care Secrets for Busy Women in this 30 minute FREE webinar
http://www.anymeeting.com/PIID=E950DC8282473F

Stress? Everyone's got it. So what? Right?

I know many of you are entrepreneurs, and so you are definitely a step or two ahead of the “average Jane” in that at least, you are passionate about what you do each day. But that doesn’t make it any less stressful. Some may say more stress, I say different stress. You’re not worried about the company layoffs, but you are worried about your company profits and where your next customer is going to come from.

What is your current stress level? 
 
Rate the following questions 1-5 on how true the statements are for you:

1. I find it difficult to keep up with everything going on in my life
2. I never seem to sleep enough
3. My energy isn't what I want it to be
4. I eat too much when I'm nervous
5. I get angry or frustrated over little things
6. I find it difficult to achieve the lifestyle I want
7. I find it difficult to take the time to take care of me
8. Anxiety, frustration, sadness, anger, guilt, or embarrassment get in the way of me enjoying my life
9. I find myself worrying about aspects of my life (1 for each)
   job finances success relationships marriage children

Compare your hand temperature to your neck temperature by touching your neck with the fingertips of both hands. Do your fingers feel colder than your neck? Do your fingers feel warm like your neck?
Warm Hands are Relaxed, Cold Hands are Tense.

If your fingers feel really cold, then you are showing extra tension perhaps too much stress.
If your fingers feel cool, then you are showing some tension.
If your fingers are warm like your neck, then you may be relaxed and comfortable.
If your fingers feel hotter than your neck, then you may be deeply relaxed.

Rate Yourself:

Score:

9-18         You are one cool cucumber, one happy camper. You got it under  
                control. Go YOU! You should share your secrets with your friends.
19-27       You are right on the edge. Still in control, but starting to feel the 
                signs.
28-37       We need to talk! You seriously need to schedule some girl time.     
                Maybe a 2nd glass of wine.
38-46       Danger danger Will Robinson! You are on serious stress overload.
               We need a "6 girlfriends and a bottle of wine" intervention!

Now, if you've read my blog before, you know my top 2 stress relief suggestions. Whether you are able to get together with your girlfriends or not, whether you are able to create a calming space in your home or not, you still need to find your “Happy Place”. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but any of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow stepping off a curb. We have to stop waiting for “someday” to be happy. No more of this “I just have to knuckle down and really work the business now, and when we hit X then I can relax a little and take time to do “all those things”.

Aren’t “all those things” the whole point?

Women more than men as entrepreneurs, and business women make huge sacrifices believing that later, they’ll be able to make up for it, after they achieve their success. They miss the kids’ games, birthday parties, anniversary dinners, girlfriend lunches and they are still making 70 cents on the dollar compared to a man in the same position. Men don’t feel guilty about watching the game instead of mowing the lawn, or playing a round of golf instead of making an appearance at the neighborhood barbecue.
Women work twice as hard, make less money, all while taking care of every household detail. Now I know we are busy, and it’s tough to schedule play time. But isn’t that the whole point? Shouldn’t we take the kind of care of ourselves that we demand for those we love?
 
I know, especially busy women entrepreneurs are high octane people. “I thrive on stress.” Right? “I do my best work under pressure.” Right? But it adds up, and it sneaks up on you like grey hairs and before you know it you burn out.

And aside from the passion you feel for your business, isn’t part of why you want to be a successful business woman just so that you can enjoy “all those things”.  

A turning point in my life was when my husband was laid off from a corporate job that had made him so depressed he was a completely different person. We likened the layoff to when a loved one has been really sick for a long time, and they pass away. It’s sad, but it’s really a relief that the suffering is over. We decided it was our last best opportunity for him to pursue his life long dream rather than go back to doing what he hated somewhere else. We walked away from a 70K income and invested an additional 70K in the additional training he needed.
We decided we didn’t need to suffer any more. My husband’s happiness in his career was more important than his income or our lifestyle. I didn’t know how, but I knew I’d do anything to work it out.
So I started my business alongside my corporate position to supplement our income. Don’t worry, this isn’t a pitch for my “business opp”. Here’s the point, in helping my husband make his dream come true, I not only found a dream I didn’t even know I had, but I figured out that life is supposed to be good and happy. Every day.

 
We learned that it is truly never too late to bring your dream to life. At 43 years of age, my husband got hired as an airline pilot. No more sitting in a cubicle for him. We learned that anything really is possible.
And we’ve figured out that life is about each day, making the most of who we are, where we are and most importantly who we are with.
It turns out it wasn’t just me experiencing this - we all get so busy living life, that we forget to Live Life.

I love this picture. I have this hanging next to my mirror so I see it every morning. These aren’t my words, but it reminds me how great each day can be.

 Waking Up Full of Awesome

There was a time when you were five years old, and you woke up full of awesome.
You knew you were awesome. You loved yourself.
You thought you were beautiful, even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.
You loved your body, and the things it could do. You thought you were strong. You knew you were smart.
Do you still have it? The awesome. Did someone take it from you? Did you let them?...
Look at her. She is full of awesome.
You were, once. Maybe you still are. Maybe you are in the process of getting it back.
All I know is that if you aren’t waking up feeling like this, you are really missing out.


And if you can’t find your awesome every day, find your happy place. Find your thing or list of things that make you smile, or better yet, make you giggle. Maybe your thing is your beautiful daughter, or your handsome son. Maybe your thing is the vacation to Maui you took 2 years ago and you would love to repeat. Maybe your thing is art, something beautiful like Monet. Maybe your thing is music. I definitely can’t have a bad day, when I start it off by shaking my groove thang or singing at the top of my lungs alone in my car.
Maybe your thing is really great shoes, I know I have a certain kind of joy when I’m wearing a really great pair of shoes.
My big “thing” is I find the funny. Truth be told, sometimes I find the funny in inappropriate things or situations, and I have to stifle my giggle. More truth be told, sometimes I’m more successful at giggle stifling than others.

And here the secret formula:
Start your day with that thing. Before you walk out the door, or pick up the phone for your first business conversation, go to your happy place. Give yourself the gift of 30 seconds - heck go for it and maybe give yourself a whole minute. Think about your thing. Look at yourself in the mirror with that huge smile on your face.
And then, when you feel your stress levels on the rise, take a moment, take a breath, and go to your thing, your happy place, and (if it’s not completely inappropriate) give yourself the gift of that smile again.

You’ll be surprised how much just that moment in your happy place will drain some of that stress away.

Stress levels rising to critical levels in women

Stress levels in women have reached epidemic proportions. 75 to 90 percent of visits to primary care physicians are for stress-related complaints. Increases in heart disease, sleeping problems, stomach ailments, infertility and chronic fatigue syndrome (also diagnosed as fibromyalgia).

All of this because we are too stressed out, and we do nothing about it!

You remember, when we were kids, we couldn’t wait until we grew up and no one was bossing us around, and we could do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted, right? 
Many of us had a short period of time in our lives when that was actually true, it was called College. Then, our parents, or mentors, or someone in our lives told us that we had to “grow up” and that “life’s not just one big party” and we had to become responsible and fly right. 
So then we spend the next 40 or 50 YEARS waiting until we can retire so we can do whatever we want whenever we want. 

Well, the sobering truth is that a lot of folks don’t make it to enjoy their retirement and most people who do certainly can’t do whatever they want once they do retire because they are either sick and feeble or living on a shoestring or both.

So here’s the scoop, we need to find a way to enjoy our lives today. We have to stop waiting for that magical someday to come because it just might not. 
Now, I’m not telling you that if you have a job you hate that I can fix that (well, actually maybe I can, but that’s not what I'm talking about today), and I’m not telling you that I can fix any issues that may exist with your spouse or significant other. And I’m certainly not telling you that I can prevent your kids from making you crazy. What I am telling you, is that there are things you can do to manage your stress, so that these things aren’t ruling YOU and they aren’t the only thoughts that camp out in your brain 24 hours a day. And they’re so much easier than you might think.

Check this out...

The head of psychiatry at Stanford University gave a lecture on the relationship between stress and disease. He said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman BUT for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.

At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

Women connect with each other and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality girlfriend time helps us to create more serotonin--a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings where men share activities, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym. - Did you catch that?

There's a tendency to think that when we are exercising we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged--not true. In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other women is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking! - WOW as dangerous as smoking!

OK - I want everyone to take note, the head of psychiatry at Stanford University has gone on record saying that having a glass of wine with your girlfriends is as important as exercise and NOT doing so is as dangerous as smoking! Well, maybe he didn’t say the wine was a requirement, but we need those antioxidants, right?

In between our “grown up play dates” there is something else we can do, to decrease our stress levels passively on a daily basis.



 

Women need a place in their home that is just for them. Whether it is a bedroom or bathroom sanctuary, or a quiet corner of a living room with a comfy chair and a book-stand. Women need to create for themselves that special place where they can unwind and recharge so we can face the next day, or the rest of today. 

It's not a luxury, it's critical to our well being and the well being of all those we care for. 

Some of the most popular personal sanctuaries are: a reading nook, a bathroom spa, a bedroom escape, a meditation space and a backyard oasis, but they can be as unique and varied as we are as women. What is your idea of a personal sanctuary?

What they all have in common is that they create a unique feeling, and grant the ability to breathe a relaxing sigh.


This taking care of ourselves stuff is really truly important. Not all new age and woo woo. We blow it off and then we wonder why our physical and mental health is on a constant state of decline. We tell ourselves that we just need to make it through Friday and then we'll get a chance to regroup. Then the weekend comes and goes with its own list of to-do's and chores and obligations. And before we know it, it’s Sunday night and we’re just as exhausted, overwhelmed, overworked and underappreciated as we were on Tuesday or Wednesday.

So what are you waiting for? Share in the comments: Are you going to schedule a "grown up play date" on your calendar this week, or what is your idea of a personal sanctuary (bathroom, bedroom, meditation space, backyard)?

Just Relax!

Is it just me, or when you are all spun up about something, or feeling excessively tense, or just completely overwhelmed and someone, a well meaning someone, tells you to "Just Relax" does it have the opposite effect?

But when you are overwhelmed, over worked and just ready to tip over the edge you need SOMETHING. And we're all tempted to do the most unhealthy things to get through. We grab a chocolate bar, or some "comfort food", maybe a big bowl of ice cream or a gooey brownie. All those things are great to indulge in once in a while, and if you've been reading me for any time, you know I'm a big promoter of doing something that truly makes you happy and even indulging every now and then. The point here is that this isn't really going to reduce your stress level, and what's worse, it will increase the dreaded guilt!

As busy business women, we are constantly juggling and trying to clear an ever filling plate. We end up in a vicious cycle that leaves us feeling guilty and isolated. We feel guilty that we don't get to the things on our plate that have been there the longest, but always seem to lose out on priority. We feel guilty that we're neglecting our family when we're working. We feel guilty that we're neglecting our work when we're with our family. We feel guilty that we haven't come up with a solution to this whole "life balance" equation yet. We feel guilty that there are people in our lives we cherish that we promise and promise to see, but that commitment just ends up being another item on our plate with a "C" priority that doesn't make the cut. And perish the thought of doing something just for you.

But that's just the thing that you need.

The head of psychiatry at Stanford University gave a lecture on the relationship between stress and disease. He said, among other things, that one of the best things a woman can do for her health is to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality girlfriend time helps us to create more serotonin--a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings where men share activities.

Brain Chemistry information from Beverly Keyes Taylor @ www.genderbrainchemistry.com

Stress is the cause of almost all health problems, which is the direct effect of the level of cortisol released into the body during stressful times.  

The stressed man wants to withdraw and just relax, mindlessly forgetting about the stress of his day. This is a necessary action for him to rebuild the testosterone used up during the stress of the day.

The stressed woman wants to talk about her stress, as that increases her oxytocin and serotonin. As she talks to an intent and well trained listener, her levels of serotonin and oxytocin rise, and she begins to feel more relaxed. As women have more language centers in both hemispheres of the brain, she more easily articulates, communicates, and expresses her emotions and feelings.

When the stressed man is not allowed to recover his testosterone, and the stressed woman doesn’t raise her oxytocin level, their cortisol level stays high. This changes the brain chemistry, leaving them feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and even more stressed.

Not to mention, cortisol is the hormone that stores the toxins in the body. It surrounds them with water and fat, and stores them right in the mid section. Cortisol also raises the level of hypertension, coronary disease, embolisms and obesity. This vicious cycle begins with not taking care of the level of stress according to your gender. This changes the chemistry of your brain. Therefore you may notice physiological changes brought on by stress such as mood swings, irritability and depression. Physical changes such as of loss of health may follow.

So when we get together, and we talk about what's going on in our lives, we get relief. We get relief from the guilt over not keeping our commitment to see these wonderful ladies. We get relief from the feeling of isolation that we are the ONLY person going through what we're currently experiencing. We get relief from being "on-duty". We get encouragement, advice, support and strength from our community. We laugh, we reminisce, we relax. 

And our stress starts to melt away.

So the next time you hear "Just Relax" it's time to phone, text or email your favorite girlies and schedule some quality girl time.

I'm curious, when is the last time you got together with your girlfriends? What did you do?

Related articles

4 stress relief tips for female entrepreneurs

driven women entrepreneurs can be more susceptible to stress and burn out

3 Tips On How Women Entrepreneurs Can Conquer Stress

Why should I care anyway?

So week by week I share tips and hints on how to reduce your stress level and find ways to be happy today instead of waiting for that "someday" to come along.



Many of you are women entrepreneurs, and maybe you find yourself sitting there saying so what? 
Why should I care about this stuff anyway? 
I'm up to my ears in an effort to find a balance between my work and my family. 
I just don't have time to even think about this self care stuff. 
And stress? Well it just comes with the territory. If I didn't realize that, I wouldn't be in this business in the first place.






Women entrepreneurs are innovators, risk takers, and unlike male entrepreneurs, they have a big mission they are working to share with the world. And that's where you tell yourself you get your daily dose of happiness. When you feel you are making a difference, when you see your mission coming to reality you say - that's what makes me happy. But I'd be willing to wager, that is what gives you a sense of satisfaction. And satisfaction is NOT the same as happiness.

 

I saw a sign in a pub once that read 
"FREE BEER TOMMORROW".
I think women entrepreneurs, especially mompreneurs wear a sign that reads "I'll be happy tomorrow".

I was reading this article today and I have included an excerpt here...

Stress management strategy #5: Make time for fun and relaxation

Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors when they inevitably come.
Healthy ways to relax and recharge

    Go for a walk.
    Spend time in nature.
    Call a good friend.
    Sweat out tension with a good workout.
    Write in your journal.
    Take a long bath.
    Light scented candles.
    Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.
    Play with a pet.
    Work in your garden.
    Get a massage.
    Curl up with a good book.
    Listen to music.
    Watch a comedy.

Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.
Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.
Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.

Maybe I sound like a broken record. Maybe I sound young and naive (by the way I'm over 40). Maybe I sound like Bobby McFerrin.

But I'll tell you what, if you ask anyone that talks to me, I'm one of the happiest people they know. And I'm always that way. Part of that is because I choose it, every day. Some days I have to choose it over and over ;) But a really big part of it is the things I share with all of you. The things in the article excerpt above.

• I have a "me place" in my home.

• I light candles almost every day (it helps that I get them all for free of course - I can hook you up too - ping me)

• I take time every day to be fun, be spontaneous, be silly.

• I laugh every single day. Some days I feel like I can't stop laughing.

• I surround myself with like minded people who lift me up.

• I say "YES" to me at least once a week, that may be a massage, a bottle of wine with my best girlfriend, a soak in the tub, a great read in a cozy chair. Whatever my choice, it's something that I do for me and no one else with no guilt and no regret.

So why should you care?

• Nothing runs on burnt out batteries
  
• Wouldn't you like more joy in your life EVERY DAY? 

• Don't you deserve to receive the type of care you give to and demand for those you love?

• If you were talking to your sister, mother, best girlfriend and she was stressed out and about to burst, what advice would you be giving her right now?

• Today is the day to be HAPPY! We're never guaranteed tomorrow. Have big dreams and goals and aspirations, but don't put your happiness on hold until you get there.

Suddenly this song started playing in my head, so I thought I'd share it with all of you too. I know I can't help but smirk when I hear it.

C'mon get happy! 

If you've forgotten how, we SO need to talk! I can totally help you get your giggle on!!

P.S. Ready to reduce your stress? 

Claim your F.R.E.E. report on why and how to take better care of YOU 

@ www.WineWomenandWax.biz

Friday Fun day it's easy to lower that stress and find your "Happy Place"

It's Friday, and I'm a day late on my 2nd post of the week. 
 

Friday is fun day. It's an easy day to let go of stress and find our Happy Place. One of my girlfriends has a party every single Friday night, and no she's not 23. She gets the importance of connecting and unwinding and has established her home as a spot where friends and family know they can escape to at the end of a busy week.
That's me smack in the middle :) 




I share often that a HUGE way to relieve your stress as a woman is to physically get together with other women. There is an actual change in our brain chemistry when we are together that increases our serotonin levels. 

~ There is some evidence to support the theory that this is a result of pheromones, the same phenomenon that causes women's menstrual cycles to synchronize ~ 

However the science behind it works, I think we all know that my signature phrase "6 girlfriends and a bottle of wine" is a sure fire way to forget your troubles, reduce your stress and find your "Happy Place".




While I can't spend my normal full Friday late night at my girlfriends this week as I have a few things to finish getting set up at home for my big Launch Party on Sunday and Monday, I do look forward to popping by, celebrating the birthday of a friend (with a little relax with wax birthday gift) and getting my connection on. 



 


What are you doing on this Friday Fun day to lower your stress and find your "Happy Place"? I'd love to hear about it!   

Lower your stress before you begin

I was honored this week to be asked to speak as a guest on a blog for wedding professionals. The first question on the list I felt deserved its own spot here as well as I think it can apply to all women business owners. 

What better time to reduce your stress level than before you begin your day?

What would you recommend to business owners whom are stressed out with their businesses as a quick way to de-stress in the morning before they tackle the day?

I would definitely suggest a solid morning routine which includes some inspirational self care. 

Add 15-20 minutes to your morning routine.

Optimally, you will have a lovely space in your home that rejuvenates you. This can be your back deck or patio, a corner of your living room or bedroom, or even your bathroom if it is soothing and refreshing. 

Include some soft music, this can be while you enjoy your morning beverage (coffee, tea, smoothie). 

I also recommend lighting a candle, burning incense or a fragrance warmer to add some glow and pleasing fragrance.

If you meditate, this is a perfect time to do that as a start to your day.

Key elements to reduce your stress level, whether you meditate or not:

1. You've heard this I'm certain, but be grateful for what you have right now. I'm not saying practice gratitude for what you envision having, but truly give thanks for some wonders you have in your life today, in this moment. Today that thing may be the opportunity to run your own business, or a great night's sleep, or a supportive and loving spouse, or really cushy bedroom slippers.
2. Have a notebook or scrapbook with some work you have done that you are especially proud of, that makes you feel you are doing your best work and look through these. Remember why you are doing this. Remember the purpose that you are meant to share.
3. Give focus to 3 tasks you intend to complete today to grow or expand your business. See how you will complete them and envision the impact you most desire from their implementation. 
4. (optional) Read a beautiful or inspiring quote or reading.
5. (optional) Have a funny/inspirational photo near your mirror to remind you how amazing you are.
6. (optional) MOVE! Put on a great song and let yourself sing out loud and dance around.

Now go tackle your day! Make it the best day of your life! 

I would love to hear your thoughts on the idea of adding this to your morning. Can you envision this making a difference in your daily stress level? Your general happiness with your business?

Letting Go

This time of year, our new product line comes out for the Fall and Holiday, our biggest selling season. Consequently, our annual retirement list is published and I always get a backlash from my customers asking why oh why are we discontinuing their favorite collection or more often their favorite fragrance.

I felt myself slipping into that a bit this year, as some of my current favorites are on the cutting list, but then I recall how much I fall in love with the new fragrances each time they are revealed, and the new collections. If we never let go of the old, there would never be room to embrace the new. 

I think as women, we are more sentimental than men, and we have the tendency to hang on to things. Not just our favorite products, or fragrances, but our favorite stores, parks, ice cream shops. We develop an emotional attachment to things. Even ideas.

As women entrepreneurs, we are always coming up with new ideas and new things to try or new ways to try them. But we still get caught in the trap where we come up with something and then get emotionally attached to it, more than the outcome it was meant to produce.

A really great exercise to shed some stress and guilt this week is to take a look at what you're holding on to that may be holding you back. And allow yourself to let it go to make way for some great new stuff!

I just heard that a dear friend was let go from her place of business today. No notice, no explanation, no indication that anything was amiss. Not surprisingly, she is hurt and shocked. As a friend with another perspective, I was able to look at the situation and pose a thought she never considered that may open up her options and possibilities exponentially.

Sometimes, we have to let go of the mundane to make way for the amazing.

I would love to hear what thing this week you are allowing yourself to let go, if you're really brave, you can share what it's been holding you back from.

P.S. If you're interested in checking out our retiring list, you can do so here.

Keeping Commitments

As women, we are wired to be pleasers, nurturers, care takers, problem solvers and issue resolvers. We care for our families, we care for our girlfriends, we care for our girlfriends' families, we care for our colleagues, our employees, our business associates. 

We take very seriously every commitment we make to every person in our lives. 

We would be horrified to let any of them down.

 


And this is a HUGE factor to our ever increasing stress levels. We are awesome, but we can't always do everything for everyone every day.




But this post is NOT about learning to say no to those around you.

This post is about learning to say yes to the most important person you need to be keeping your commitments to... YOURSELF!

How many of us have lists of things we want to do for ourselves, that get pushed to the side because we are busy keeping our commitments to everyone around us? Some of these commitments are simple, even trivial ... getting your hair cut, colored or highlighted. Exercising. Making a healthy lunch for yourself.
And that's why it's easy to justify, and dangerous.

When we run out hours in our day, the things that we cut out are almost ALWAYS our commitments to ourselves. If we always say no to the things we know are important to us, who will say yes to them?

I've noticed this happen to me this week. I'm cracking down on my diet and it's been hard to stay on track, but I have so far (the whole 3 1/2 days). BUT, my commitment to my half marathon training has gone by the wayside every one of those days this week, in order for me to keep a commitment to someone else in my life. My health, fitness and weight loss goals are important to me. I woke up today thinking... how will I reach them if I don't make MY needs a priority. 

We feel a sense of accomplishment and pride when we keep our commitments to others, why don't we feel the same accomplishment and pride when we keep them to ourselves. 

Who will say yes to your needs if not you? If you're super lucky, you have an amazing girlfriend that will rein you in and hold you accountable. So you keep your commitments to yourself ONLY in an effort not to let HER down. But it's better than nothing :) 

I'll be that girlfriend today. Pick 1 thing that you've told yourself you want to do for you this year, this month, this week. And make it a priority to keep your commitment to YOU. 

This is a habit we all need to develop!  


Share the 1 commitment you are going to keep to yourself this week! I'd love to hear them!

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Build your Stress Burning Furnace

You’re stressed out. 

I get it.

You’re overworked, overbooked and overextended. 

I get it.

You’ve heard all the nicey nice strategies for reducing your stress, and they all make you think 

“sure, if I had time to lay around in a bath for an hour or two, I wouldn’t NEED stress relief”

or “If I could get 5 minutes of silence in my house, I’d love to try yoga or meditation.”

Now, I’m not going to tell you that you still shouldn’t try to carve out some time, even 15 minutes a day for some self care. And I still staunchly recommend finding an hour or 2 at least once a month for some girl on girl time. I have a whole other article on the benefit of and need for that.

BUT I am here to offer you a solution.

Have you ever heard that the more muscle a body has, the more fat is burned all the time, even when at rest? So, here’s how that works. If a person has more muscle mass, it increases their base metabolism so that their fat burning furnace is frying up more calories all the time, even when they are sitting or sleeping. The idea is that then this person will actually lose more weight and not have to kill themselves doing cardio or other fat burning aerobic exercise as much.

Have I lost you? Hang with me here.

I’m here to tell you that we can create a stress burning furnace for you so that even if you can’t find the time or the quiet to engage in those stress reducing activities, you will burn stress all the time if you follow this simple solution.

Create a home sanctuary.

First, don’t freak out and think I’m giving you another huge project or list of things to add to your already too long to do list. This doesn’t have to be done all in one swell foop as we say in my family.

Now, there is no one “recipe” for creating your home sanctuary, because something that is soothing to one person can be completely irritating to the next, but there are some simple steps to follow.

1. De-Clutter - one of the big things that will add to your stress level is clutter. We all have it. One great tip I learned was to grab a laundry basket when it’s not laundry day and go through the house. Everything that is in a place that it doesn’t belong goes into the laundry basket. Relocate items to the room they belong in or designate a “needs a home” spot in a location you don’t have to look at every day like a laundry room or the basement.
   
2. Let go of the guilt - those items you have in your home because great aunt Mary Sue gave them to you as a gift but you’ve always hated... take them down. If you MUST hang on to them, pack them with love in a hope chest with a lovely letter about great aunt Mary Sue. If you can bear to part with them, donate them to a local charity. Maybe you can even tell great aunt Mary Sue that she inspired you to make a charitable donation. You’ll get rid of that “I hate that” feeling when you go into that room and you’ll feel great for helping out a charity.
   
3. Change your color palette - This does not mean buying new furniture or repainting all your walls. So much of the focus and feeling of a room comes from the accessories! You can start by choosing a color palette for a room and shopping in your own home. You’d be surprised to find that the wall hanging from the front hallway takes on a completely different feel when it is in the living room. Invest in 1 great accent piece and shop in your home or at the discount stores to complete the look.
   
4. Create your happy place - pick one type of sanctuary to complete for yourself. This does not necessarily mean changing the kid’s old room into your new yoga and meditation studio, but heck, if that’s what you want, more power to you! Pick something like a bathroom spa retreat or a cozy book, music or game corner. Whatever is going to fill you with the most peace or joy and pull the corner of your home together.
   
5. Engage all your senses - the more senses you can please, the more peaceful you will feel. You can add a fountain or music for sound. Create the lighting that pleases you, whether that’s side lights, shaded lamps, direct sunlight or soft candle light. Bring in fragrances that create the mood you choose. These can come from natural sources like sprigs of evergreen trees, cinnamon brooms, scented flowers, or herbs. They can also come from room sprays, fragrance warmers or scented candles. Different plants and herbs produce different beneficial results. For example, lavender is an excellent stress reliever, spearmint can help bring greater mental clarity, and anise has been known to help to relieve menstrual cramps. Bring living plants into the house that not only add beauty to the surroundings, but that also bring in healthful oxygen and purify the air.

When you’re finished, your home should make you feel joyous, supported, at peace, inspired, and free to be yourself. Our homes should be sanctuaries for our bodies, minds, and spirits. They should be restorative and far from the stress-filled world of work, deadlines, and traffic jams.

Once you have created this space, it will become your stress burning furnace. Just like that high muscle mass metabolism, even if you’re helping Suzi with her algebra, just being in your home sanctuary will slowly chip away at that day’s stress buildup.

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