Says who? Says YOU!

Ever have one of those days where you just want to scream? 
Or a day or two where you are in a funk and can't seem to shake it?

Do you feel like that feeling is out of your control?

It isn't, or at least, it doesn't have to be.

Life is full and things are fluid all the time. Things are always going to be coming at you, there will often be more than you can handle. 

You will have not enough business, or too much. 
The kids will have a million activities, or they will be bored and driving you crazy.
The house will be in need of fixing, or in need of remodeling or in need of redecorating, or you will be ready to sell it.

There will always be stuff. It won't all be rosy. But the really cool thing is you are in complete control of your perspective and your reaction.

As kids, when we wanted to stay up late, or eat popcorn, or go outside, we always had to ask our parents. And, when we got an answer we didn't like, they would tell us that when we grew up, we could make our own rules and we could decide when to stay up late, or eat popcorn. 

But we don't do we? We still let everything around us be the "boss of us".

My tip for today, your mission, should you choose to accept it is to take one of those tear sheets for yourself. Be the boss of you. Choose to stay up late, or go to bed early. Take a nap, go for a walk, eat ice cream before dinner. 

Pick a thing that makes you feel great, and do that thing just for you and nobody else.

I'd love to hear what your thing is... share in the comments below.

Find more tips and ideas in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html    
 
 
 

Women wear a lot of hats

How true is that? 

• What woman you know doesn't do at least 3 jobs?
• Who makes it look effortless most of the time?
• Who doesn't get thanked enough?
• Who slowly and quietly gets more overwhelmed each day?
• Who seldom complains about the load she bears?

And of all the hats we wear, we are nearly always supporting, doing or caring for someone else. 
 
So, when do you decide it's time to take care of you? And if you ever make this difficult and guilt inspiring decision, who is it that does take care of you?

Run down the list of hats you wear in a typical day, or week, or month, and consider how those who are paid as professionals in each field demand to be treated and served. 

Chefs have dishwashers, most professions have secretaries, or assistants, some professions have entire staff to tend to things that are outside their expertise.

And you, a busy professional woman, do all of these, only get paid for one maybe two of them and insist that your needs can wait.

and wait...

and wait...

and wait...

But what happens when they can't wait any longer? What happens when you finally hit that tipping point? What happens when you burn out mentally, emotionally or physically?

People in your life will step up and pitch in and they will care for you. And then you'll feel even more guilty.

So what if you decided that taking care of you, self-care, that thing that you know you're supposed to do, but just never manage to get around to, was important. What if you decided that it was a priority? 

What if you could come up with a way to do that on a regular basis and not feel guilty? 

Impossible?

Maybe not.

There are a thousand little things you can do in a day to lower your stress level and take a little bit of self-care without neglecting your loved ones, your business or your ever growing to-do list. 

Here are a few to inspire you to do a little self-care today...

• Give yourself a mini facial - grab one of those sets of beauty products you bought but never took the time to use and do all the steps. Enjoy the glow and great feeling skin.
• Listen to your favorite song. Turn the volume up loud. Before you pick up the kids, sing all the lyrics at the top of your lungs and chair dance if you want to.
• Call your best girlfriend and share a funny memory.
• Do a random act of kindness for someone who can not return the favor, but a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line, pay a parking meter, give a McDonalds or Subway gift card to a homeless person.
• Send yourself a note or card - in the mail. 
• Watch your favorite movie.

Find more tips and ideas in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html        

Wine, Women & Wax

The lights are low, nothing harsh to make you squint your eyes or scrunch your face. You and 6 girlfriends have cracked a bottle of wine and settled into the couches as the laughter starts to roll.

Time stands still, just for a couple of hours. You don't have to cook, clean, stop and pick up, drop everything and help, or answer ANYTHING. 

You catch up, you share stories, you compliment one another's latest outfit, hairstyle or shoes. You brainstorm, you comfort one another, you commiserate, you brag. 

As you get into your car to head home, you feel strong. You feel empowered. You feel ready to face tomorrow's lists and tasks and uncertainty with renewed vigor. 

That's what getting together with your girlfriends is for. When is the last time you did that? The holidays are over. You've spent the last 2 months taking car of everyone else in your life more than usual. You deserve a little me time, a little we time. 

What do you say? Give 'em a call! Want to add a little retail therapy? Give me a shout and I'll bring the wax!
 

Stress? Everyone's got it. So what? Right?

I know many of you are entrepreneurs, and so you are definitely a step or two ahead of the “average Jane” in that at least, you are passionate about what you do each day. But that doesn’t make it any less stressful. Some may say more stress, I say different stress. You’re not worried about the company layoffs, but you are worried about your company profits and where your next customer is going to come from.

What is your current stress level? 
 
Rate the following questions 1-5 on how true the statements are for you:

1. I find it difficult to keep up with everything going on in my life
2. I never seem to sleep enough
3. My energy isn't what I want it to be
4. I eat too much when I'm nervous
5. I get angry or frustrated over little things
6. I find it difficult to achieve the lifestyle I want
7. I find it difficult to take the time to take care of me
8. Anxiety, frustration, sadness, anger, guilt, or embarrassment get in the way of me enjoying my life
9. I find myself worrying about aspects of my life (1 for each)
   job finances success relationships marriage children

Compare your hand temperature to your neck temperature by touching your neck with the fingertips of both hands. Do your fingers feel colder than your neck? Do your fingers feel warm like your neck?
Warm Hands are Relaxed, Cold Hands are Tense.

If your fingers feel really cold, then you are showing extra tension perhaps too much stress.
If your fingers feel cool, then you are showing some tension.
If your fingers are warm like your neck, then you may be relaxed and comfortable.
If your fingers feel hotter than your neck, then you may be deeply relaxed.

Rate Yourself:

Score:

9-18         You are one cool cucumber, one happy camper. You got it under  
                control. Go YOU! You should share your secrets with your friends.
19-27       You are right on the edge. Still in control, but starting to feel the 
                signs.
28-37       We need to talk! You seriously need to schedule some girl time.     
                Maybe a 2nd glass of wine.
38-46       Danger danger Will Robinson! You are on serious stress overload.
               We need a "6 girlfriends and a bottle of wine" intervention!

Now, if you've read my blog before, you know my top 2 stress relief suggestions. Whether you are able to get together with your girlfriends or not, whether you are able to create a calming space in your home or not, you still need to find your “Happy Place”. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but any of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow stepping off a curb. We have to stop waiting for “someday” to be happy. No more of this “I just have to knuckle down and really work the business now, and when we hit X then I can relax a little and take time to do “all those things”.

Aren’t “all those things” the whole point?

Women more than men as entrepreneurs, and business women make huge sacrifices believing that later, they’ll be able to make up for it, after they achieve their success. They miss the kids’ games, birthday parties, anniversary dinners, girlfriend lunches and they are still making 70 cents on the dollar compared to a man in the same position. Men don’t feel guilty about watching the game instead of mowing the lawn, or playing a round of golf instead of making an appearance at the neighborhood barbecue.
Women work twice as hard, make less money, all while taking care of every household detail. Now I know we are busy, and it’s tough to schedule play time. But isn’t that the whole point? Shouldn’t we take the kind of care of ourselves that we demand for those we love?
 
I know, especially busy women entrepreneurs are high octane people. “I thrive on stress.” Right? “I do my best work under pressure.” Right? But it adds up, and it sneaks up on you like grey hairs and before you know it you burn out.

And aside from the passion you feel for your business, isn’t part of why you want to be a successful business woman just so that you can enjoy “all those things”.  

A turning point in my life was when my husband was laid off from a corporate job that had made him so depressed he was a completely different person. We likened the layoff to when a loved one has been really sick for a long time, and they pass away. It’s sad, but it’s really a relief that the suffering is over. We decided it was our last best opportunity for him to pursue his life long dream rather than go back to doing what he hated somewhere else. We walked away from a 70K income and invested an additional 70K in the additional training he needed.
We decided we didn’t need to suffer any more. My husband’s happiness in his career was more important than his income or our lifestyle. I didn’t know how, but I knew I’d do anything to work it out.
So I started my business alongside my corporate position to supplement our income. Don’t worry, this isn’t a pitch for my “business opp”. Here’s the point, in helping my husband make his dream come true, I not only found a dream I didn’t even know I had, but I figured out that life is supposed to be good and happy. Every day.

 
We learned that it is truly never too late to bring your dream to life. At 43 years of age, my husband got hired as an airline pilot. No more sitting in a cubicle for him. We learned that anything really is possible.
And we’ve figured out that life is about each day, making the most of who we are, where we are and most importantly who we are with.
It turns out it wasn’t just me experiencing this - we all get so busy living life, that we forget to Live Life.

I love this picture. I have this hanging next to my mirror so I see it every morning. These aren’t my words, but it reminds me how great each day can be.

 Waking Up Full of Awesome

There was a time when you were five years old, and you woke up full of awesome.
You knew you were awesome. You loved yourself.
You thought you were beautiful, even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.
You loved your body, and the things it could do. You thought you were strong. You knew you were smart.
Do you still have it? The awesome. Did someone take it from you? Did you let them?...
Look at her. She is full of awesome.
You were, once. Maybe you still are. Maybe you are in the process of getting it back.
All I know is that if you aren’t waking up feeling like this, you are really missing out.


And if you can’t find your awesome every day, find your happy place. Find your thing or list of things that make you smile, or better yet, make you giggle. Maybe your thing is your beautiful daughter, or your handsome son. Maybe your thing is the vacation to Maui you took 2 years ago and you would love to repeat. Maybe your thing is art, something beautiful like Monet. Maybe your thing is music. I definitely can’t have a bad day, when I start it off by shaking my groove thang or singing at the top of my lungs alone in my car.
Maybe your thing is really great shoes, I know I have a certain kind of joy when I’m wearing a really great pair of shoes.
My big “thing” is I find the funny. Truth be told, sometimes I find the funny in inappropriate things or situations, and I have to stifle my giggle. More truth be told, sometimes I’m more successful at giggle stifling than others.

And here the secret formula:
Start your day with that thing. Before you walk out the door, or pick up the phone for your first business conversation, go to your happy place. Give yourself the gift of 30 seconds - heck go for it and maybe give yourself a whole minute. Think about your thing. Look at yourself in the mirror with that huge smile on your face.
And then, when you feel your stress levels on the rise, take a moment, take a breath, and go to your thing, your happy place, and (if it’s not completely inappropriate) give yourself the gift of that smile again.

You’ll be surprised how much just that moment in your happy place will drain some of that stress away.

Letting Go

This time of year, our new product line comes out for the Fall and Holiday, our biggest selling season. Consequently, our annual retirement list is published and I always get a backlash from my customers asking why oh why are we discontinuing their favorite collection or more often their favorite fragrance.

I felt myself slipping into that a bit this year, as some of my current favorites are on the cutting list, but then I recall how much I fall in love with the new fragrances each time they are revealed, and the new collections. If we never let go of the old, there would never be room to embrace the new. 

I think as women, we are more sentimental than men, and we have the tendency to hang on to things. Not just our favorite products, or fragrances, but our favorite stores, parks, ice cream shops. We develop an emotional attachment to things. Even ideas.

As women entrepreneurs, we are always coming up with new ideas and new things to try or new ways to try them. But we still get caught in the trap where we come up with something and then get emotionally attached to it, more than the outcome it was meant to produce.

A really great exercise to shed some stress and guilt this week is to take a look at what you're holding on to that may be holding you back. And allow yourself to let it go to make way for some great new stuff!

I just heard that a dear friend was let go from her place of business today. No notice, no explanation, no indication that anything was amiss. Not surprisingly, she is hurt and shocked. As a friend with another perspective, I was able to look at the situation and pose a thought she never considered that may open up her options and possibilities exponentially.

Sometimes, we have to let go of the mundane to make way for the amazing.

I would love to hear what thing this week you are allowing yourself to let go, if you're really brave, you can share what it's been holding you back from.

P.S. If you're interested in checking out our retiring list, you can do so here.

Women work so hard

I received a great tweet this week from Cassandra Washington @exceedlearning. 

"Wow! Women wrk so hard. They nd a space 2 relax."

How true is that? 

• What woman you know doesn't do at least 3 jobs?
  
• Who makes it look effortless most of the time?
  
• Who doesn't get thanked enough?
  
• Who slowly and quietly gets more overwhelmed each day?
  
• Who will never complain about the load she bears?

We all know how important it is to take care of ourselves, but we often neglect it. 

When you make a space to relax in your home, at least you have a go-to spot when you need to regroup and your girlfriends and a bottle of wine don't happen to be handy.

Need Inspiration? Check out my website or my Pin Boards. While you're at my site, don't forget to sign up to get my BONUS Report ~ How to create your personal sanctuary. 

You work so hard, you need a space to relax!

 
 

Women light up the world

Image by Jose Betancur via Flickr

I am so lucky that I grew up with a Mom who demonstrated that a woman can be strong, confidant and can do anything. Just by watching who she was, and how she kicked ass and how much respect and love she had, I not only was told the proverbial "you can do or be anything" but I saw it was really possible.

I am so lucky in that I get to meet, work with and befriend amazing women every month, every week, every day in my business. Women who I can call colleagues, fellow business owners and entrepreneurs who I either meet through doing business or who also associate with PartyLite. Women who graciously invite me into their homes for a special evening sharing warmth and friendship. Women who invite me to help them make a change in their life, adding income, adding confidence, adding new life skills or just making new friends of their own. 

I am SO lucky and I know it, I say it each day. Thank you for lighting up my world! I don't take you for granted. You make a difference every day, whether you realize it or not. You make a difference to me every day, whether I thank you or not.

Today, I thank you. Thank you for making my life the wonderful place it is.

I don't normally forward power point presentation videos but this is so in line with my thinking that I felt I needed to share it today. Enjoy. And do take some time to fill your lamp!

http://www.flickspire.com/m/SimpleTruths/OilForYourLamp

Shannon

Related articles

• The Women on my Journey (simplylifted.wordpress.com)

What's that smell?

 I was reading today some interesting research on how scent affect work performance. Some companies are actually finding that scent can improve employee performance and job satisfaction.


It has been well established that scent plays a huge part in mood as it is linked to a specific part of the brain associated with memory. Some fragrances stimulate, others relax. Some promote feelings of well-being while others increase aggression.


Sleep deprivation, multi-tasking and too many demands on our time leave us feeling drained of energy and often cranky. The simple addition of scent can give the boost of energy needed to increase performance and stamina for the multi-tasks at hand and improve your mood while performing the many tasks you have in any day. Put this to work for you!

Lavender not only relieves stress but also prevents work performance deterioration.
Jasmine stimulate alertness, helps focus and increases hand-eye coordination.
Lemon scent increases stamina and lifts mood.

Peppermint increases alertness and performance accuracy.

Cinnamon scent increases concentration.

Vanilla reduces the startle-reflex and relieves stress and anxiety.

Related articles

• 5 Natural Scents to Energize You (fitsugar.com)