Says who? Says YOU!

Ever have one of those days where you just want to scream? 
Or a day or two where you are in a funk and can't seem to shake it?

Do you feel like that feeling is out of your control?

It isn't, or at least, it doesn't have to be.

Life is full and things are fluid all the time. Things are always going to be coming at you, there will often be more than you can handle. 

You will have not enough business, or too much. 
The kids will have a million activities, or they will be bored and driving you crazy.
The house will be in need of fixing, or in need of remodeling or in need of redecorating, or you will be ready to sell it.

There will always be stuff. It won't all be rosy. But the really cool thing is you are in complete control of your perspective and your reaction.

As kids, when we wanted to stay up late, or eat popcorn, or go outside, we always had to ask our parents. And, when we got an answer we didn't like, they would tell us that when we grew up, we could make our own rules and we could decide when to stay up late, or eat popcorn. 

But we don't do we? We still let everything around us be the "boss of us".

My tip for today, your mission, should you choose to accept it is to take one of those tear sheets for yourself. Be the boss of you. Choose to stay up late, or go to bed early. Take a nap, go for a walk, eat ice cream before dinner. 

Pick a thing that makes you feel great, and do that thing just for you and nobody else.

I'd love to hear what your thing is... share in the comments below.

Find more tips and ideas in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html    
 
 
 

Girlfriend Guilt

If you are anything like me, you have a list of girlfriends, or other favorite people in your life that you are always promising to get together with. Do these comments sound familiar?

It's been too long, we need to get together.

As soon as (insert child's sport) season is over, we need to go get coffee.

Let's do lunch after (insert current life event).

So week after week and month after month, time expands and you still haven't kept that promise you made to someone in your life you truly care about and really enjoy spending time with. 

And it's a catch 22. You feel guilty because you haven't kept your commitment, and you feel guilty, as if it's self-indulgent, to take the time to keep the commitment. You can't win. 

And now the holidays are here, and that guilt feels more present than ever. This is the time of year to connect with those you don't see often. Now you add a layer of social expectation to your guilt cycle. 

And to top it all off, you have a boat load of extra things on your list to get done.

But what if that's the answer, not another problem?

Guess what? 

All of your girlfriends and favorite people have a boat load of extra things on their list to get done too! 

What if you did some of them together? 

• Knock out the last of your holiday shopping together
• Have a cookie baking day
• Make holiday party appetizers or hors d'oeuvres that can be frozen and reheated
• Go to drop off your holiday donations together
• Do a kid watching swap and steal 15-30 minutes to visit at drop off/pick up
• My personal favorite, and something I have done with my girlfriends in the past, a gift wrapping party - everyone has a bunch of gifts to wrap - get together at 1 person's house and visit and catch up while you get your wrapping done

These are just a few suggestions, but you can apply this to anything you have on your list. And it's not just something you can do during the holidays, any time of year you can call your girlfriend and see if she needs or wants to do one of the things on your to-do list that week. It's more fun to do together too!

That is good self-care! Getting stuff crossed off your list, banishing the guilt around keeping our commitments to our very favorite people, and the best part, actually getting to see and spend time with them!

What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
 
 
If you haven't yet, get your free guide: “Self Care Tips for Personal and Professional Success”
http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html 

 

Expectations, disappointment, and you

Have you ever found yourself in a place of excited anticipation? Where an opportunity is on the horizon, and it will be a game changer for you in one way or another? You see the possibilities lining up before you and you can picture all the great changes that will come to you as a result. You see the changes you will make as a result. It's exhilarating, the hope is wondrous, the vision is palpable. It's fun to envision this new reality.
 
And sometimes, the opportunity doesn't work out. And the more you let yourself envision it, the more disappointed you are. 

So, while you are in that place, in those long moments of anticipation, you feel the stress, the anxiety of trying to manage your expectations while remaining hopeful and holding your future vision. It's a bit like walking a tightrope.

I have found myself in this place this past month, and am in the midst of yet another opportunity blossoming. This past month, I had 3 new team members all excited to get started. One worked out. I completely let myself fall head over heels into hope. Didn't consider for a moment the very real possibility that things change, hiccups happen and life can surprise anyone at any time. Naughty me! As a result, I was very bitterly disappointed at month end to not hit my goal.

A few good lessons learned:

• Even if it looks like you are going to hit your goal, keep pushing, anything can happen and what if you exceed it?  
• Nothing is final until it is final. Life changes every day, in ways we can never anticipate.
• Stay focused on your vision, your final outcome, but loosen your hold on the specifics.

So now, as I eagerly await the outcome of this next big opportunity. I am actively trying to manage my expectations. It's tough. I find my imagination running away, painting pretty pictures in my head, which seems to lead to random humming and chair dancing.

So, my final lesson for the week, as I remain hopeful but try to manage my enthusiasm and keep my cart behind my horse, is to keep thinking about Plan B. Remembering that it is Plan B, it is "just in case" Plan A doesn't work out, but it is there and ready. 

How about you? How do you manage your expectations, and the anxiety that comes with it? 

Learn how you can reduce and relieve stress with 3 Surprising Self-Care Secrets for Busy Women in this 30 minute FREE webinar
http://www.anymeeting.com/PIID=E950DC8282473F


Get your free guide: “Self Care Tips for Personal and Professional Success”
www.winewomenandwax.biz/freebie.html

Stress? Everyone's got it. So what? Right?

I know many of you are entrepreneurs, and so you are definitely a step or two ahead of the “average Jane” in that at least, you are passionate about what you do each day. But that doesn’t make it any less stressful. Some may say more stress, I say different stress. You’re not worried about the company layoffs, but you are worried about your company profits and where your next customer is going to come from.

What is your current stress level? 
 
Rate the following questions 1-5 on how true the statements are for you:

1. I find it difficult to keep up with everything going on in my life
2. I never seem to sleep enough
3. My energy isn't what I want it to be
4. I eat too much when I'm nervous
5. I get angry or frustrated over little things
6. I find it difficult to achieve the lifestyle I want
7. I find it difficult to take the time to take care of me
8. Anxiety, frustration, sadness, anger, guilt, or embarrassment get in the way of me enjoying my life
9. I find myself worrying about aspects of my life (1 for each)
   job finances success relationships marriage children

Compare your hand temperature to your neck temperature by touching your neck with the fingertips of both hands. Do your fingers feel colder than your neck? Do your fingers feel warm like your neck?
Warm Hands are Relaxed, Cold Hands are Tense.

If your fingers feel really cold, then you are showing extra tension perhaps too much stress.
If your fingers feel cool, then you are showing some tension.
If your fingers are warm like your neck, then you may be relaxed and comfortable.
If your fingers feel hotter than your neck, then you may be deeply relaxed.

Rate Yourself:

Score:

9-18         You are one cool cucumber, one happy camper. You got it under  
                control. Go YOU! You should share your secrets with your friends.
19-27       You are right on the edge. Still in control, but starting to feel the 
                signs.
28-37       We need to talk! You seriously need to schedule some girl time.     
                Maybe a 2nd glass of wine.
38-46       Danger danger Will Robinson! You are on serious stress overload.
               We need a "6 girlfriends and a bottle of wine" intervention!

Now, if you've read my blog before, you know my top 2 stress relief suggestions. Whether you are able to get together with your girlfriends or not, whether you are able to create a calming space in your home or not, you still need to find your “Happy Place”. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but any of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow stepping off a curb. We have to stop waiting for “someday” to be happy. No more of this “I just have to knuckle down and really work the business now, and when we hit X then I can relax a little and take time to do “all those things”.

Aren’t “all those things” the whole point?

Women more than men as entrepreneurs, and business women make huge sacrifices believing that later, they’ll be able to make up for it, after they achieve their success. They miss the kids’ games, birthday parties, anniversary dinners, girlfriend lunches and they are still making 70 cents on the dollar compared to a man in the same position. Men don’t feel guilty about watching the game instead of mowing the lawn, or playing a round of golf instead of making an appearance at the neighborhood barbecue.
Women work twice as hard, make less money, all while taking care of every household detail. Now I know we are busy, and it’s tough to schedule play time. But isn’t that the whole point? Shouldn’t we take the kind of care of ourselves that we demand for those we love?
 
I know, especially busy women entrepreneurs are high octane people. “I thrive on stress.” Right? “I do my best work under pressure.” Right? But it adds up, and it sneaks up on you like grey hairs and before you know it you burn out.

And aside from the passion you feel for your business, isn’t part of why you want to be a successful business woman just so that you can enjoy “all those things”.  

A turning point in my life was when my husband was laid off from a corporate job that had made him so depressed he was a completely different person. We likened the layoff to when a loved one has been really sick for a long time, and they pass away. It’s sad, but it’s really a relief that the suffering is over. We decided it was our last best opportunity for him to pursue his life long dream rather than go back to doing what he hated somewhere else. We walked away from a 70K income and invested an additional 70K in the additional training he needed.
We decided we didn’t need to suffer any more. My husband’s happiness in his career was more important than his income or our lifestyle. I didn’t know how, but I knew I’d do anything to work it out.
So I started my business alongside my corporate position to supplement our income. Don’t worry, this isn’t a pitch for my “business opp”. Here’s the point, in helping my husband make his dream come true, I not only found a dream I didn’t even know I had, but I figured out that life is supposed to be good and happy. Every day.

 
We learned that it is truly never too late to bring your dream to life. At 43 years of age, my husband got hired as an airline pilot. No more sitting in a cubicle for him. We learned that anything really is possible.
And we’ve figured out that life is about each day, making the most of who we are, where we are and most importantly who we are with.
It turns out it wasn’t just me experiencing this - we all get so busy living life, that we forget to Live Life.

I love this picture. I have this hanging next to my mirror so I see it every morning. These aren’t my words, but it reminds me how great each day can be.

 Waking Up Full of Awesome

There was a time when you were five years old, and you woke up full of awesome.
You knew you were awesome. You loved yourself.
You thought you were beautiful, even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.
You loved your body, and the things it could do. You thought you were strong. You knew you were smart.
Do you still have it? The awesome. Did someone take it from you? Did you let them?...
Look at her. She is full of awesome.
You were, once. Maybe you still are. Maybe you are in the process of getting it back.
All I know is that if you aren’t waking up feeling like this, you are really missing out.


And if you can’t find your awesome every day, find your happy place. Find your thing or list of things that make you smile, or better yet, make you giggle. Maybe your thing is your beautiful daughter, or your handsome son. Maybe your thing is the vacation to Maui you took 2 years ago and you would love to repeat. Maybe your thing is art, something beautiful like Monet. Maybe your thing is music. I definitely can’t have a bad day, when I start it off by shaking my groove thang or singing at the top of my lungs alone in my car.
Maybe your thing is really great shoes, I know I have a certain kind of joy when I’m wearing a really great pair of shoes.
My big “thing” is I find the funny. Truth be told, sometimes I find the funny in inappropriate things or situations, and I have to stifle my giggle. More truth be told, sometimes I’m more successful at giggle stifling than others.

And here the secret formula:
Start your day with that thing. Before you walk out the door, or pick up the phone for your first business conversation, go to your happy place. Give yourself the gift of 30 seconds - heck go for it and maybe give yourself a whole minute. Think about your thing. Look at yourself in the mirror with that huge smile on your face.
And then, when you feel your stress levels on the rise, take a moment, take a breath, and go to your thing, your happy place, and (if it’s not completely inappropriate) give yourself the gift of that smile again.

You’ll be surprised how much just that moment in your happy place will drain some of that stress away.

Each day is more precious than we know

 Today is a perfect day to be happy.
Every day is a perfect day to be happy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

 I talk often about seizing the day and finding ways to manage your stress and find your happiness each day. I do believe with all of my heart that this is my mission and my message. The road that my husband and I traveled when he was laid off and changed careers led me there.

This week I was reminded how precious and fleeting each day can be. A dear friend lost her home in a sudden fire. Thankfully, they are all safe, but they lost absolutely everything. This message is not about things, your home or your property, although I am more profoundly grateful for the home I have than ever before. I find myself far less worried about the things that aren't perfect and the projects that aren't finished.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Today is all we have. And it is our duty to find joy in the day. I am watching my friend in the wake of this enormous tragedy and she is beyond an inspiration to me. She is definitely in shock, she has definitely cried her share of tears. But with nothing but the clothes on her back, she is joyously approaching each day.
 

This is a picture of her and 2 of her children taking a break for some fun while shopping for necessities. 

A quote from her "Oh my gosh. I can't even read my facebook without crying tears of gratitude. The overwhelming support to my family has literally caused me the greatest emotions I have ever felt. The loss of our stuff has become one of the greatest blesings to our souls. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU"

Ladies, we are much worse about this than the men, and the kicker is ... we also have the bonus of GUILT.
How many times in the past year have you promised to get together with your girlfriends? How many times have you done it? When was the last time?
How many times have you promised yourself that you would schedule some "you" time? How many times have you done it? When was the last time?

Time is precious. Time is fleeting. Just look at your kids to be reminded how fast it goes.
You tell yourself - oh I'll have time for that when the kids are in school, or off to college, or finally out of the house
or - we'll have time to take that vacation when we retire.

You can't put your happiness on hold. Tomorrow is guaranteed for no one.

Be thankful today.

Be happy today.

Share that happiness with everyone you see. You just don't know the impact it may have.

P.S. if you are a hot sauce lover, Steve Ozbolt from Emerald City Catering is having a "Fire Sale". Anyone who orders a 3pk of his Big Boss BBQ sauce (any flavor) will receive a complimentary bottle of Fire Sauce and all proceeds will go to the Jones family. The offer ends on Oct 1st, so don't delay. Be sure to tell them that you are ordering for the Jones fire fund on checkout.

Just Relax!

Is it just me, or when you are all spun up about something, or feeling excessively tense, or just completely overwhelmed and someone, a well meaning someone, tells you to "Just Relax" does it have the opposite effect?

But when you are overwhelmed, over worked and just ready to tip over the edge you need SOMETHING. And we're all tempted to do the most unhealthy things to get through. We grab a chocolate bar, or some "comfort food", maybe a big bowl of ice cream or a gooey brownie. All those things are great to indulge in once in a while, and if you've been reading me for any time, you know I'm a big promoter of doing something that truly makes you happy and even indulging every now and then. The point here is that this isn't really going to reduce your stress level, and what's worse, it will increase the dreaded guilt!

As busy business women, we are constantly juggling and trying to clear an ever filling plate. We end up in a vicious cycle that leaves us feeling guilty and isolated. We feel guilty that we don't get to the things on our plate that have been there the longest, but always seem to lose out on priority. We feel guilty that we're neglecting our family when we're working. We feel guilty that we're neglecting our work when we're with our family. We feel guilty that we haven't come up with a solution to this whole "life balance" equation yet. We feel guilty that there are people in our lives we cherish that we promise and promise to see, but that commitment just ends up being another item on our plate with a "C" priority that doesn't make the cut. And perish the thought of doing something just for you.

But that's just the thing that you need.

The head of psychiatry at Stanford University gave a lecture on the relationship between stress and disease. He said, among other things, that one of the best things a woman can do for her health is to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality girlfriend time helps us to create more serotonin--a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings where men share activities.

Brain Chemistry information from Beverly Keyes Taylor @ www.genderbrainchemistry.com

Stress is the cause of almost all health problems, which is the direct effect of the level of cortisol released into the body during stressful times.  

The stressed man wants to withdraw and just relax, mindlessly forgetting about the stress of his day. This is a necessary action for him to rebuild the testosterone used up during the stress of the day.

The stressed woman wants to talk about her stress, as that increases her oxytocin and serotonin. As she talks to an intent and well trained listener, her levels of serotonin and oxytocin rise, and she begins to feel more relaxed. As women have more language centers in both hemispheres of the brain, she more easily articulates, communicates, and expresses her emotions and feelings.

When the stressed man is not allowed to recover his testosterone, and the stressed woman doesn’t raise her oxytocin level, their cortisol level stays high. This changes the brain chemistry, leaving them feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and even more stressed.

Not to mention, cortisol is the hormone that stores the toxins in the body. It surrounds them with water and fat, and stores them right in the mid section. Cortisol also raises the level of hypertension, coronary disease, embolisms and obesity. This vicious cycle begins with not taking care of the level of stress according to your gender. This changes the chemistry of your brain. Therefore you may notice physiological changes brought on by stress such as mood swings, irritability and depression. Physical changes such as of loss of health may follow.

So when we get together, and we talk about what's going on in our lives, we get relief. We get relief from the guilt over not keeping our commitment to see these wonderful ladies. We get relief from the feeling of isolation that we are the ONLY person going through what we're currently experiencing. We get relief from being "on-duty". We get encouragement, advice, support and strength from our community. We laugh, we reminisce, we relax. 

And our stress starts to melt away.

So the next time you hear "Just Relax" it's time to phone, text or email your favorite girlies and schedule some quality girl time.

I'm curious, when is the last time you got together with your girlfriends? What did you do?

Related articles

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Ever Have One of "Those" Days?

Do you ever have one of "those" days?
The kind where you feel kind of like a raw nerve?
The kind where people who are normally beneath your radar suddenly rub you the wrong way?
The kind where you are easily irritated or angered by things that normally wouldn't irritate or anger you?
The kind where you decide you are just "CRABBY" (or perhaps a more colorful word)

Ever have 2 of them in a row?

I've totally been having those this week! Yesterday and today as well.

When the sound of the person next to me breathing makes me feel like I'm on the other end of a high school student's bad heavy breathing call. 

And the chewing sounds like it's being run through an amplifier.
When certain people talk to you and you have to actively resist the urge to whip your head in response and snap "WHAT?!?!"

Thankfully, not only did I recognize it, but I have tools in my life ready for me to grab to do something about it! OK - to be honest, the doing something about it part happened faster today than yesterday. Yesterday, I did just seethe in red vision anger for maybe an hour.

So - I thought to myself "Self, I bet I'm not the only one that has to deal with these types of days" and I thought today would be a great  day to share my tips for taking control of your day.

1. Notice
   
   • Be self aware.
   • Be aware of your reactions, both internal and external. 
   • Be aware of your boundaries.  What reactions are acceptable and which are unacceptable, both internal and external.
2. Take responsibility   
   
   • Don't fall into the trap of placing the blame on circumstances. ("that" time of the month, sickness, an unpleasant coworker, neighbor or family member)
   • Realize that whatever the outside circumstance, it has NO POWER OVER YOU.
3. Assess the situation
   
   • Can you do something to change the situation that is blowing your top?
   • If so, calmly handle the problem, then give yourself a high five.
   • If not, resolve to let it go. If you can't control it, don't let IT control YOU.
4. Assess the urgency of your mood
   
   • Do you need to do something NOW to turn your mood around or can it wait until you get home?
5. Deploy your EMAT (Emergency Mood Altering Tools)
   
   • If the situation is urgent, the best, fastest tool is MUSIC. Not just any music. Have a go to song.
     Mine is Danzig and Shikira sing Hips Don't Lie. Not only does it make me dance (just can't prevent it) but it also cracks me up. It's loaded on my phone so I always have it with me.
   • If the situation is a slow boiler, deploy the endorphins.
     Exercise, take a class, go for a walk, run, skate, swim or bike ride, put in an exercise video.
     If you can combine the outdoors with the exercise, so much the better!

Even if you're all alone. Or as I often say, when you don't have 6 girlfriends and a bottle of wine handy, you have the power to turn your day around.

P.S. Claim your F.R.E.E. report on why and how to take better care of YOU 

@ www.WineWomenandWax.biz

Why should I care anyway?

So week by week I share tips and hints on how to reduce your stress level and find ways to be happy today instead of waiting for that "someday" to come along.



Many of you are women entrepreneurs, and maybe you find yourself sitting there saying so what? 
Why should I care about this stuff anyway? 
I'm up to my ears in an effort to find a balance between my work and my family. 
I just don't have time to even think about this self care stuff. 
And stress? Well it just comes with the territory. If I didn't realize that, I wouldn't be in this business in the first place.






Women entrepreneurs are innovators, risk takers, and unlike male entrepreneurs, they have a big mission they are working to share with the world. And that's where you tell yourself you get your daily dose of happiness. When you feel you are making a difference, when you see your mission coming to reality you say - that's what makes me happy. But I'd be willing to wager, that is what gives you a sense of satisfaction. And satisfaction is NOT the same as happiness.

 

I saw a sign in a pub once that read 
"FREE BEER TOMMORROW".
I think women entrepreneurs, especially mompreneurs wear a sign that reads "I'll be happy tomorrow".

I was reading this article today and I have included an excerpt here...

Stress management strategy #5: Make time for fun and relaxation

Beyond a take-charge approach and a positive attitude, you can reduce stress in your life by nurturing yourself. If you regularly make time for fun and relaxation, you’ll be in a better place to handle life’s stressors when they inevitably come.
Healthy ways to relax and recharge

    Go for a walk.
    Spend time in nature.
    Call a good friend.
    Sweat out tension with a good workout.
    Write in your journal.
    Take a long bath.
    Light scented candles.
    Savor a warm cup of coffee or tea.
    Play with a pet.
    Work in your garden.
    Get a massage.
    Curl up with a good book.
    Listen to music.
    Watch a comedy.

Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.
Set aside relaxation time. Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.
Connect with others. Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.
Do something you enjoy every day. Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike.
Keep your sense of humor. This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.

Maybe I sound like a broken record. Maybe I sound young and naive (by the way I'm over 40). Maybe I sound like Bobby McFerrin.

But I'll tell you what, if you ask anyone that talks to me, I'm one of the happiest people they know. And I'm always that way. Part of that is because I choose it, every day. Some days I have to choose it over and over ;) But a really big part of it is the things I share with all of you. The things in the article excerpt above.

• I have a "me place" in my home.

• I light candles almost every day (it helps that I get them all for free of course - I can hook you up too - ping me)

• I take time every day to be fun, be spontaneous, be silly.

• I laugh every single day. Some days I feel like I can't stop laughing.

• I surround myself with like minded people who lift me up.

• I say "YES" to me at least once a week, that may be a massage, a bottle of wine with my best girlfriend, a soak in the tub, a great read in a cozy chair. Whatever my choice, it's something that I do for me and no one else with no guilt and no regret.

So why should you care?

• Nothing runs on burnt out batteries
  
• Wouldn't you like more joy in your life EVERY DAY? 

• Don't you deserve to receive the type of care you give to and demand for those you love?

• If you were talking to your sister, mother, best girlfriend and she was stressed out and about to burst, what advice would you be giving her right now?

• Today is the day to be HAPPY! We're never guaranteed tomorrow. Have big dreams and goals and aspirations, but don't put your happiness on hold until you get there.

Suddenly this song started playing in my head, so I thought I'd share it with all of you too. I know I can't help but smirk when I hear it.

C'mon get happy! 

If you've forgotten how, we SO need to talk! I can totally help you get your giggle on!!

P.S. Ready to reduce your stress? 

Claim your F.R.E.E. report on why and how to take better care of YOU 

@ www.WineWomenandWax.biz

Serenity Now!

Who remembers this episode of Seinfeld? 

Frank Costanza is advised to say "serenity now" aloud every time his blood pressure is in danger of going up, but he yells it instead.


We all have our tricks for when we're losing control. But do we recognize it soon enough? 

Why do we wait until we're about to tip over the edge before we try to make ourselves feel better?


Why don't we focus on feeling better every day?

“Today is a most unusual day, because we have never lived it before; we will never live it again; it is the only day we have."

Today can be a healthy unusual day for you -- and for others -- if you take time to give someone a smile . . . to express a word of kindness . . . to lend a helping hand to someone in need . . . to write a note of gratitude . . . to give a word of encouragement to someone who is temporarily overcome with problems . . . to share a portion of your material possessions with others.

 

Happiness can't be forced like Frank Costanza tried to do, but it can be chosen. It can be sought. 


 Don't wait for tomorrow, don't wait for Friday, don't wait for the weekend or retirement or the kids to be in school or the kids to be out of school. 

 
Choose happiness today.
Seek happiness today.


Your challenge today, should you choose to accept it is to think of something that makes you happy and do that thing. Eat ice cream, walk outside on your lunch hour, swing on a swing, dangle your feet in a pool, lake, river or pond.

Share your happy thing. I'd love to hear it, and who knows what you may inspire in another.

Friday Fun day it's easy to lower that stress and find your "Happy Place"

It's Friday, and I'm a day late on my 2nd post of the week. 
 

Friday is fun day. It's an easy day to let go of stress and find our Happy Place. One of my girlfriends has a party every single Friday night, and no she's not 23. She gets the importance of connecting and unwinding and has established her home as a spot where friends and family know they can escape to at the end of a busy week.
That's me smack in the middle :) 




I share often that a HUGE way to relieve your stress as a woman is to physically get together with other women. There is an actual change in our brain chemistry when we are together that increases our serotonin levels. 

~ There is some evidence to support the theory that this is a result of pheromones, the same phenomenon that causes women's menstrual cycles to synchronize ~ 

However the science behind it works, I think we all know that my signature phrase "6 girlfriends and a bottle of wine" is a sure fire way to forget your troubles, reduce your stress and find your "Happy Place".




While I can't spend my normal full Friday late night at my girlfriends this week as I have a few things to finish getting set up at home for my big Launch Party on Sunday and Monday, I do look forward to popping by, celebrating the birthday of a friend (with a little relax with wax birthday gift) and getting my connection on. 



 


What are you doing on this Friday Fun day to lower your stress and find your "Happy Place"? I'd love to hear about it!   

Women work so hard

I received a great tweet this week from Cassandra Washington @exceedlearning. 

"Wow! Women wrk so hard. They nd a space 2 relax."

How true is that? 

• What woman you know doesn't do at least 3 jobs?
  
• Who makes it look effortless most of the time?
  
• Who doesn't get thanked enough?
  
• Who slowly and quietly gets more overwhelmed each day?
  
• Who will never complain about the load she bears?

We all know how important it is to take care of ourselves, but we often neglect it. 

When you make a space to relax in your home, at least you have a go-to spot when you need to regroup and your girlfriends and a bottle of wine don't happen to be handy.

Need Inspiration? Check out my website or my Pin Boards. While you're at my site, don't forget to sign up to get my BONUS Report ~ How to create your personal sanctuary. 

You work so hard, you need a space to relax!

 
 

Keeping Commitments

As women, we are wired to be pleasers, nurturers, care takers, problem solvers and issue resolvers. We care for our families, we care for our girlfriends, we care for our girlfriends' families, we care for our colleagues, our employees, our business associates. 

We take very seriously every commitment we make to every person in our lives. 

We would be horrified to let any of them down.

 


And this is a HUGE factor to our ever increasing stress levels. We are awesome, but we can't always do everything for everyone every day.




But this post is NOT about learning to say no to those around you.

This post is about learning to say yes to the most important person you need to be keeping your commitments to... YOURSELF!

How many of us have lists of things we want to do for ourselves, that get pushed to the side because we are busy keeping our commitments to everyone around us? Some of these commitments are simple, even trivial ... getting your hair cut, colored or highlighted. Exercising. Making a healthy lunch for yourself.
And that's why it's easy to justify, and dangerous.

When we run out hours in our day, the things that we cut out are almost ALWAYS our commitments to ourselves. If we always say no to the things we know are important to us, who will say yes to them?

I've noticed this happen to me this week. I'm cracking down on my diet and it's been hard to stay on track, but I have so far (the whole 3 1/2 days). BUT, my commitment to my half marathon training has gone by the wayside every one of those days this week, in order for me to keep a commitment to someone else in my life. My health, fitness and weight loss goals are important to me. I woke up today thinking... how will I reach them if I don't make MY needs a priority. 

We feel a sense of accomplishment and pride when we keep our commitments to others, why don't we feel the same accomplishment and pride when we keep them to ourselves. 

Who will say yes to your needs if not you? If you're super lucky, you have an amazing girlfriend that will rein you in and hold you accountable. So you keep your commitments to yourself ONLY in an effort not to let HER down. But it's better than nothing :) 

I'll be that girlfriend today. Pick 1 thing that you've told yourself you want to do for you this year, this month, this week. And make it a priority to keep your commitment to YOU. 

This is a habit we all need to develop!  


Share the 1 commitment you are going to keep to yourself this week! I'd love to hear them!

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• committment...working on this daily...

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Less AAAHHHH and more aaahhhhh

Does this remind you of anyone you know? 

The woman of 2012

• You work full time, approximately 50 hours a week with a 40 minute commute each way. 

• You have 2 children who are each engaged in 3 programs, to which you must chauffeur them, that always seem to be scheduled at the same time in opposite directions.
• You clean. 
• You cook.
• You do the grocery shopping.
• You answer the phone, respond to email, and send about 1500 text messages per month.

You are overwhelmed, stressed out and ready to tip over the edge. 


Could you use less AAAAHHHHH and more aaaahhhhh?

Here are some quick tips to claim a space in your home as your personal sanctuary where you can regroup, recharge and get ready  to face the next day (or maybe the rest of today)

1. Choose a space. It doesn't have to be a whole room, though the bathroom is a great spot. It can just be a spot in front of a great window with natural light or a corner tucked away in a bedroom or even a big walk in closet.
2. Set the mood. Do you want to feel soothed, calmed and relaxed, or energized and motivated? Choose the mood you want to create.
3. Add some sound. Music, soft or bold, depending on the mood you wish to create, maybe a fountain if you're going for the soothing calming space.
4. Select your anchors. If you are creating a meditation space, perhaps a buddha for good luck, or another item that symbolizes zen. A soaking tub would be an anchor in a bathroom, or a comfy chair in a reading nook. Select the object that is going to anchor you to the space and the feeling you wish to create.
5. Make it your own, and excite your senses. Select items that hold sentimental value, or inspire or motivate you, or just make you feel exactly the way you are looking to feel. These can be a fragrance, a special keepsake, your signature oatmeal cookies, or anything that will make this your personal space. The more senses you can include, the more engaged you will be in this space.

Now you have a space where you can retreat to say buh bye to stress and hello to your favorite you. 

What kind of space do you want to create?
  

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• A Stress-Free Home

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Build your Stress Burning Furnace

You’re stressed out. 

I get it.

You’re overworked, overbooked and overextended. 

I get it.

You’ve heard all the nicey nice strategies for reducing your stress, and they all make you think 

“sure, if I had time to lay around in a bath for an hour or two, I wouldn’t NEED stress relief”

or “If I could get 5 minutes of silence in my house, I’d love to try yoga or meditation.”

Now, I’m not going to tell you that you still shouldn’t try to carve out some time, even 15 minutes a day for some self care. And I still staunchly recommend finding an hour or 2 at least once a month for some girl on girl time. I have a whole other article on the benefit of and need for that.

BUT I am here to offer you a solution.

Have you ever heard that the more muscle a body has, the more fat is burned all the time, even when at rest? So, here’s how that works. If a person has more muscle mass, it increases their base metabolism so that their fat burning furnace is frying up more calories all the time, even when they are sitting or sleeping. The idea is that then this person will actually lose more weight and not have to kill themselves doing cardio or other fat burning aerobic exercise as much.

Have I lost you? Hang with me here.

I’m here to tell you that we can create a stress burning furnace for you so that even if you can’t find the time or the quiet to engage in those stress reducing activities, you will burn stress all the time if you follow this simple solution.

Create a home sanctuary.

First, don’t freak out and think I’m giving you another huge project or list of things to add to your already too long to do list. This doesn’t have to be done all in one swell foop as we say in my family.

Now, there is no one “recipe” for creating your home sanctuary, because something that is soothing to one person can be completely irritating to the next, but there are some simple steps to follow.

1. De-Clutter - one of the big things that will add to your stress level is clutter. We all have it. One great tip I learned was to grab a laundry basket when it’s not laundry day and go through the house. Everything that is in a place that it doesn’t belong goes into the laundry basket. Relocate items to the room they belong in or designate a “needs a home” spot in a location you don’t have to look at every day like a laundry room or the basement.
   
2. Let go of the guilt - those items you have in your home because great aunt Mary Sue gave them to you as a gift but you’ve always hated... take them down. If you MUST hang on to them, pack them with love in a hope chest with a lovely letter about great aunt Mary Sue. If you can bear to part with them, donate them to a local charity. Maybe you can even tell great aunt Mary Sue that she inspired you to make a charitable donation. You’ll get rid of that “I hate that” feeling when you go into that room and you’ll feel great for helping out a charity.
   
3. Change your color palette - This does not mean buying new furniture or repainting all your walls. So much of the focus and feeling of a room comes from the accessories! You can start by choosing a color palette for a room and shopping in your own home. You’d be surprised to find that the wall hanging from the front hallway takes on a completely different feel when it is in the living room. Invest in 1 great accent piece and shop in your home or at the discount stores to complete the look.
   
4. Create your happy place - pick one type of sanctuary to complete for yourself. This does not necessarily mean changing the kid’s old room into your new yoga and meditation studio, but heck, if that’s what you want, more power to you! Pick something like a bathroom spa retreat or a cozy book, music or game corner. Whatever is going to fill you with the most peace or joy and pull the corner of your home together.
   
5. Engage all your senses - the more senses you can please, the more peaceful you will feel. You can add a fountain or music for sound. Create the lighting that pleases you, whether that’s side lights, shaded lamps, direct sunlight or soft candle light. Bring in fragrances that create the mood you choose. These can come from natural sources like sprigs of evergreen trees, cinnamon brooms, scented flowers, or herbs. They can also come from room sprays, fragrance warmers or scented candles. Different plants and herbs produce different beneficial results. For example, lavender is an excellent stress reliever, spearmint can help bring greater mental clarity, and anise has been known to help to relieve menstrual cramps. Bring living plants into the house that not only add beauty to the surroundings, but that also bring in healthful oxygen and purify the air.

When you’re finished, your home should make you feel joyous, supported, at peace, inspired, and free to be yourself. Our homes should be sanctuaries for our bodies, minds, and spirits. They should be restorative and far from the stress-filled world of work, deadlines, and traffic jams.

Once you have created this space, it will become your stress burning furnace. Just like that high muscle mass metabolism, even if you’re helping Suzi with her algebra, just being in your home sanctuary will slowly chip away at that day’s stress buildup.

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• De-Cluttering (inspirationlocation.com)