Ever have one of those days where you just want to scream?
Or a day or two where you are in a funk and can't seem to shake it?
Do you feel like that feeling is out of your control?
It isn't, or at least, it doesn't have to be.
Life is full and things are fluid all the time. Things are always going to be coming at you, there will often be more than you can handle.
You will have not enough business, or too much.
The kids will have a million activities, or they will be bored and driving you crazy.
The house will be in need of fixing, or in need of remodeling or in need of redecorating, or you will be ready to sell it.
There will always be stuff. It won't all be rosy. But the really cool thing is you are in complete control of your perspective and your reaction.
As kids, when we wanted to stay up late, or eat popcorn, or go outside, we always had to ask our parents. And, when we got an answer we didn't like, they would tell us that when we grew up, we could make our own rules and we could decide when to stay up late, or eat popcorn.
But we don't do we? We still let everything around us be the "boss of us".
My tip for today, your mission, should you choose to accept it is to take one of those tear sheets for yourself. Be the boss of you. Choose to stay up late, or go to bed early. Take a nap, go for a walk, eat ice cream before dinner.
Pick a thing that makes you feel great, and do that thing just for you and nobody else.
I'd love to hear what your thing is... share in the comments below.
Find more tips and ideas in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html
Do you remember when you were young and you used to daydream? You had no limits, no boundaries, you would think of places you wanted to go, people you wanted to meet, jobs you wanted to try, thinks you wanted to do, things you wanted to have...
You could be a race car driver, a doctor, an astronaut, a fairy princess.
You could live in Paris, or Rome or on the moon.
Your house could be a castle, or a mansion or a toadstool.
When is the last time you let yourself just daydream? No rules, no restrictions. Just dream.
I have several colleagues, mentors and friends who journal. I have a really hard time with the journaling process, but as I was thinking of trying it again
I considered the idea of daydream journaling.
Just let your mind wander and think of anything that pops up.
Things you would love to have - a new car, a dream home, a new kitchen, a new laptop, a pet monkey.
Places you would love to visit - Paris, the zoo, Egypt.
People you would love to see - far away family or friends, real or imagined characters from books or movies.
Jobs you would love to do - be a fireman, an astronaut, the president, a ballerina.
Allowing our mind to free flow like this is a great form of self-care. Letting go of the constant thoughts of your stressors, your lists and obligations is more than just cathartic, it's soothing, it's a release.
AND ... you just don't know what silly, or wild and crazy daydream could plant the seed for your next venture, your dream home, your next career, the solution to a problem that's been vexing you.
Have learn to meditate on your "to do list"? This is a great way to do that too!
I dare you, set aside 15 minutes to just daydream. No guilt allowed!
Do you think it could reduce your stress? I do!
Find more tips and ideas in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html
How true is that?
- What woman you know doesn't do at least 3 jobs?
- Who makes it look effortless most of the time?
- Who doesn't get thanked enough?
- Who slowly and quietly gets more overwhelmed each day?
- Who seldom complains about the load she bears?
And of all the hats we wear, we are nearly always supporting, doing or caring for someone else.
So, when do you decide it's time to take care of you? And if you ever make this difficult and guilt inspiring decision, who is it that does take care of you?
Run down the list of hats you wear in a typical day, or week, or month, and consider how those who are paid as professionals in each field demand to be treated and served.
Chefs have dishwashers, most professions have secretaries, or assistants, some professions have entire staff to tend to things that are outside their expertise.
And you, a busy professional woman, do all of these, only get paid for one maybe two of them and insist that your needs can wait.
and wait...
and wait...
and wait...
But what happens when they can't wait any longer? What happens when you finally hit that tipping point? What happens when you burn out mentally, emotionally or physically?
People in your life will step up and pitch in and they will care for you. And then you'll feel even more guilty.
So what if you decided that taking care of you, self-care, that thing that you know you're supposed to do, but just never manage to get around to, was important. What if you decided that it was a priority?
What if you could come up with a way to do that on a regular basis and not feel guilty?
Impossible?
Maybe not.
There are a thousand little things you can do in a day to lower your stress level and take a little bit of self-care without neglecting your loved ones, your business or your ever growing to-do list.
Here are a few to inspire you to do a little self-care today...
- Give yourself a mini facial - grab one of those sets of beauty products you bought but never took the time to use and do all the steps. Enjoy the glow and great feeling skin.
- Listen to your favorite song. Turn the volume up loud. Before you pick up the kids, sing all the lyrics at the top of your lungs and chair dance if you want to.
- Call your best girlfriend and share a funny memory.
- Do a random act of kindness for someone who can not return the favor, but a cup of coffee for the person behind you in line, pay a parking meter, give a McDonalds or Subway gift card to a homeless person.
- Send yourself a note or card - in the mail.
- Watch your favorite movie.
Find more tips and ideas in my free report: http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html
Like many people, one of our holiday traditions is sending out a Christmas card. Also like many people, invariably we end up sending it out pretty late. I think maybe some years we've even sent them after Christmas Day.
That wasn't the case this year, however this past week, we received several via return mail. Perhaps 6.
I found that this made me fairly upset. With myself. I felt like "what a horrible friend am I that I didn't even know Tom and his wife moved". Certainly, I could choose to think instead, "well, it's not like they sent out a change of address card or anything", but I didn't. And I don't.
A few months back, a friend wrote a spectacular post about why she was leaving Facebook and deleting her account. She spoke eloquently about how she wanted to keep in touch with people who actually cared about the things going on in her life, and not superficially stay connected via non specific status updates and posts. She posts regularly on Google+ and in the time since she left Facebook, indeed we have found so many fun facts we never learned about one another in 2+ years of being "connected" on Facebook.
Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of leaving Facebook, and I do find fun and enjoyable interactions there daily. I do keep in touch with some of my friends, especially long distance ones in a way that I couldn't easily otherwise.
But I have been reminded, at the volume of 11 (I'm entertained by the Spinal Tap reference and hope some of you get it), that we need to be actually connected with our friends and loved ones. We need to stay engaged and learn about the things going on in their lives. Even if you may feel that nothing has changed in your life recently, if you feel that the answer to the "So what's new with you?" question is "same old same old", ask your friends.
And most importantly ... listen to the answer.
My husband and I, over the holiday season, engaged in 2 separate very embarrassing conversations, and nearly a 3rd, where we asked a question that led to a horribly uncomfortable conversation that started with the other person saying "Oh, I guess you hadn't heard...".
My goal for 2013 and beyond is to avoid those awkward conversations by caring about the goings on in my friend's and families lives, by asking "Hey, how's it going?" regularly, and by making every effort to actually get together face to face or over the phone or video conference to connect real time.
What do you think? Would your happiness level increase through these conversations? Would that of your friends and loved ones? I believe so!
I'd love to hear your thoughts! Please share in the comment below.
The lights are low, nothing harsh to make you squint your eyes or scrunch your face. You and 6 girlfriends have cracked a bottle of wine and settled into the couches as the laughter starts to roll.
Time stands still, just for a couple of hours. You don't have to cook, clean, stop and pick up, drop everything and help, or answer ANYTHING.
You catch up, you share stories, you compliment one another's latest outfit, hairstyle or shoes. You brainstorm, you comfort one another, you commiserate, you brag.
As you get into your car to head home, you feel strong. You feel empowered. You feel ready to face tomorrow's lists and tasks and uncertainty with renewed vigor.
That's what getting together with your girlfriends is for. When is the last time you did that? The holidays are over. You've spent the last 2 months taking car of everyone else in your life more than usual. You deserve a little me time, a little we time.
What do you say? Give 'em a call! Want to add a little retail therapy? Give me a shout and I'll bring the wax!
As the calendar year turns to begin anew, I, like most people, consider my plans for the year. Goals, commitments, vacations, plans...
One of the first things on my list is to plan for races I intend to complete in the coming year. Having finished 2 Warrior Dashes, and now my first Super Spartan, I am completely obsessed with obstacle races.
Like many, I have significant goals to lose weight and improve my fitness in the coming year, to add emphasis to this, my company's annual incentive trip this year is to Hawaii for 6 days and 5 nights. As my husband and myself are extremely excited to earn and attend this year's trip, I am planning my training with added vigor.
So, I started reading the Spartan Race eBook - all things training and mindset related to prepare you for a Spartan Race. A line jumped out at me and caught my attention
"When we were young, we loved to climb, run, jump and swing. We loved to play. It's part of who we are, yet it's often absent from our adult lives."
As kids, we loved to feel the wind in our hair, the sun on our face and the grass (or dirt or sand) under our feet.
As we have moved through this thing called life, we work more and play less. So much less, in fact, that we lose the desire to play.
This year, as you make your list of hopes and dreams, your goals and resolutions, I propose that you resolve to regress.
Go back. Go back to your youth and grab that vitality you had, grab the desire to go out and play. Run. Jump. Swing. Dance. Spin. Climb. Soar.
Imagine how much younger you could feel as 2014 comes around. How's that for self care?
Have you grabbed your free guide yet? What are you waiting for?
http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html
This week I had to give myself a serious attitude adjustment. I had fallen into that trap that happens this time of year, as we get closer to the holiday and my list of things to do stays the same, but my list of social obligations grows.
This weekend is my baking weekend. For me, this is a fairly good sized task Sneek a peek at the madness. I typically spend one day from roughly 9am to midnight and then a second day nearly as long. This weekend, we have social obligations Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday evening.
We were planning to swap one Saturday evening obligation for another when we got word that Mike's family was coming in from out of town, as we haven't seen them in several years. Then we got word that the family gathering was to be at 4pm more than an hour away.
All I could think of was how it affected my baking schedule, and began to fret about how I would get everything done. I had a great deal of trouble sleeping as I worried and worried.
Thankfully, a night's sleep gave me an attitude adjustment. What is important is spending time with family and loved ones. The lists of things will or won't get done, and everyone will certainly understand.
So, I told Mike today that we need to attend our original Saturday night engagement after our family gathering and I'll figure out the baking the best I can, but if we have the good fortune to have friends, family and loved ones that are near by, who invite us to gather and celebrate, and we have the most exceptional fortune to have my pilot husband home to attend said gatherings, we need to remember what is important.
So, today's advise is: your friends and loved ones will care less about what they received as a gift, or how many, or whether your bannister has the perfect amount of garland on it than they will about the memories you share as you come together this holiday season. If given the choice between completing tasks and joining with friends and loved ones, please choose the loved ones. You may make a memory of a life time.
If you are anything like me, you have a list of girlfriends, or other favorite people in your life that you are always promising to get together with. Do these comments sound familiar?
It's been too long, we need to get together.
As soon as (insert child's sport) season is over, we need to go get coffee.
Let's do lunch after (insert current life event).
So week after week and month after month, time expands and you still haven't kept that promise you made to someone in your life you truly care about and really enjoy spending time with.
And it's a catch 22. You feel guilty because you haven't kept your commitment, and you feel guilty, as if it's self-indulgent, to take the time to keep the commitment. You can't win.
And now the holidays are here, and that guilt feels more present than ever. This is the time of year to connect with those you don't see often. Now you add a layer of social expectation to your guilt cycle.
And to top it all off, you have a boat load of extra things on your list to get done.
But what if that's the answer, not another problem?
Guess what?
All of your girlfriends and favorite people have a boat load of extra things on their list to get done too!
What if you did some of them together?
- Knock out the last of your holiday shopping together
- Have a cookie baking day
- Make holiday party appetizers or hors d'oeuvres that can be frozen and reheated
- Go to drop off your holiday donations together
- Do a kid watching swap and steal 15-30 minutes to visit at drop off/pick up
- My personal favorite, and something I have done with my girlfriends in the past, a gift wrapping party - everyone has a bunch of gifts to wrap - get together at 1 person's house and visit and catch up while you get your wrapping done
These are just a few suggestions, but you can apply this to anything you have on your list. And it's not just something you can do during the holidays, any time of year you can call your girlfriend and see if she needs or wants to do one of the things on your to-do list that week. It's more fun to do together too!
That is good self-care! Getting stuff crossed off your list, banishing the guilt around keeping our commitments to our very favorite people, and the best part, actually getting to see and spend time with them!
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
If you haven't yet, get your free guide: “Self Care Tips for Personal and Professional Success”
http://www.winewomenandwax.biz/StressRelief.html
I look at my schedule for December filled with gatherings and get
togethers, fun and festivities, and I think to myself, "This is my favorite holiday!"
In Chicago,
we have been having some seriously crazy weather, and we're enjoying it, but
it's a little weird. On Sunday, leaving a party, I said to my
hostess - Christmas music and air conditioning, it just doesn't seem
right!
As I look forward to this month of caring and sharing, rejoicing and
reconnecting, I am reminded of some advice I got when I was planning my
wedding many years ago.
Pay attention and enjoy the planning. The day
comes and goes so fast it's like a blur. Relish every moment of the
preparation.
I was thankful I followed that advice as we took a full year to plan our wedding, and true to the predictions, the day was so fast. I captured moments and committed them to memory. Thank goodness for wonderful friends with cameras that captured great moments as well.
I find we do much the same in preparation for the holidays. We make plans for a big party, or our family gathering. There's the shopping and the decorating and the wrapping and the baking. All in a rush looking at the deadline on the clock. Then December 26th arrives and the presents are gone and many start taking down the decorations and the melancholy creeps in.
As you are making your lists and checking them twice this holiday season, take some time to stop and embrace the magic. Go ice skating, walk down your favorite city street and look at the lights, enjoy a mug of cocoa, mulled cider or egg nog.
You'll be happy you did!
Share what magic you plan to take a moment to enjoy this year!
Hey! I'm going to be on the radio! LIVE on
Wednesday, December 12th @ 7:00 PM CST at www.CashFlowShowRadio.com
You can listen live, via replay, see the schedule and download the
Smartphone app at: www.CashFlowShowRadio.com
Get your free guide: “Self Care Tips for Personal and Professional Success”
www.winewomenandwax.biz/freebie.html
I felt so proud of myself this weekend.
Has anyone else bought those 4 step face care systems but almost never do all 4 steps? You know you should, you understand the steps and why they work. In my case, the system corrected my adult onset acne, so I totally get it, but in the frenzy of my morning and evening routines, I convince myself that I can't spare the 1 or 2 minutes it would take to complete "the whole thing" which I think I imagine to be like an hour in my mind. You have to wash, exfoliate, tone, spot treat and hydrate, and then there's the mask! Heck, half the time, I take my eye makeup off, but don't even manage to wash the rest of the makeup off. It's such a small thing, such a minute amount of time, but I manage to make myself believe that I can't spare even that.
But this Saturday, I held myself to my commitment to myself. I worked out, and I did my whole face care routine in the morning. It took less than 5 minutes. I didn't manage to do it in the evening as well, but I added it to 1 routine and it made me feel GREAT!
It's funny how we can make excuses not to do the things we know we should do for ourselves, for our health and well being, even when they are small. We aren't really saving that much time for other activities, but we think we are.
But here's the cool thing... once you make these tiny adjustments and add them to your routine, you start taking better care of yourself without the herculean effort you think it requires.
You wouldn't think of waking up or going to bed without brushing your teeth, right? It's just routine.
Sorry, had to throw in a bit of a chuckle there :)
Choose something tiny, miniscule that you know you should be doing to take care of yourself. Something you've been meaning and meaning and meaning to do, but keep finding reasons not to. Add it to 1 of your daily routines. Remember, it takes 30 days to make a habit, so do it for 30 days, and see the difference it makes!
I'd love to hear the item you are going to add!
Hey! I'm going to be on the radio! LIVE on
Wednesday, December 12th @ 7:00 PM CST at www.CashFlowShowRadio.com
You can listen live, via replay, see the schedule and download the
Smartphone app at: www.CashFlowShowRadio.com
Get your free guide: “Self Care Tips for Personal and Professional Success”
www.winewomenandwax.biz/freebie.html
