Some days are not OK

As you go through the course of your day, you are bound to encounter stress, frustration, sometimes anger, even sadness or downright despair.

You could be in a situation like I wrote about last week where you are experiencing a hostile environment either personally or professionally. You could be in a stressful job. You could just be a normal person going through a normal day where things just don't always go as planned.

And, those that know me well may be surprised to hear me say - yep, that's going to happen. Despite all the tips and tidbits I share, even if you follow the best self-care rituals on the planet, these things are going to happen. Anyone remember this scene from Forget Paris?

As I go through my day, I pass people, or connect with them over the phone, and invariably the "how are you?" question comes up. It's pretty unusual for me to respond with anything but one of my characteristic superlative replies - it seems "Fabulous" is the most common. - Right Brian Kucharski? Very often, the next thing I hear is "you're always great" or "you're always fabulous".

You know what, I am most of the time. Not always. That would be impossible unless I was really, clinically insane. (I'll never deny being a little crazy - maybe more than a little. haha) But we all have those moments, and  you know what? 

It's totally OK.

Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling. Sometimes you’ll get down, really down. Sometimes you’ll get hurt, crushed. Sometimes you will feel overwhelmed. What you resist, persists. So don’t resist. The sooner you get it all out the sooner you can move on. Now, that does NOT mean wallow, but deal with it. Finding your happiness is not about suppressing emotions, or neglecting to deal with them. It's about working through or seeing past them. And some are most assuredly more difficult than others.

One thing I do find very helpful is placing happiness triggers. 

See this little smiley face koosh dude? 

I've had him on my cube wall at my day j.o.b. for a while but recently decided to move him where he is in my sight line. He definitely brings a smile when I glance down and see him cheerfully smiling at me.

Photos, I have some photos of our trip to Barcelona, Spain above my computer monitor.

Sound, pick a great short sound byte or ring tone and set an alarm on your phone. You'll be energized by the great sound, and you can even use that as a reminder to take a breath or maybe take a break and a walk around.



Scent. Fragrance is our sense tied most closely to memory. Tuck a handkerchief in your purse sprayed with your husband's cologne. Or your baby's shampoo.

Energy boosters. Make a list of small, five to 10 minute acts that make you feel better. This is hard for many women, so don’t be afraid to start small.

Above and beyond the Happiness triggers, do one thing for yourself every day. It doesn't have to be a big thing, but it has to be JUST for you. It may be giving yourself a pedicure or giving yourself permission to say “no”. It may be flowers on your desk. Give yourself permission for indulgence. Every day.

Love your imperfections. They are a key ingredient that goes into making you you. Laugh at yourself.
Have you grabbed my free guide yet? Quick tips on reducing stress. www.winewomenandwax.biz/freebie.html

All work and no play...

If you recognize this image, you know what happened to Jack. 

Now, we are not in a Stephen King novel, nor are we stuck in a secluded snowed in resort in the middle of winter with supernatural forces playing against our sanity.

However, we are working women, women business owners, women entrepreneurs. When there is work to be done, we are the ones to do it, right? We have a business to run and a household to run.

Here is the danger. Real life poses a much bigger threat than any thriller novel could capture. We also have a life to run. And not just run, enjoy. 
I mean E N J O Y!!!! Savor, indulge, live, experience!!!

We only get one shot at this thing called life. This isn't a dress rehearsal.

If we stay buried in work, our life will pass by without our participation. 

I know it's not Christmas, but my mind turns to Scrooge in the Dickens novel. Through a series of life events, he chose to bury himself in his work to the neglect of all those around him. The spirits showed him that if he didn't change his ways, he would end up alone.

I am certainly not suggesting that you will end up alone, nor will you end up going insane and on a rampage like Jack in The Shining. 

But you are going to miss the best parts of life waiting for them to come. 

Work is truly important. More for women entrepreneurs than for any other segment of the working world, because we are working with a mission, a purpose. We are striving daily to bring more joy, health, freedom, and the list goes on to the world. For many, our work IS a source of joy and that is a blessing and a gift.

But this does NOT exclude you from the need to play!!!!!! 

Every day find a way to play. You don't have to take the afternoon off, but do it. 

• If you pass a park with a swing on your lunch break, take 5 minutes and soar
• If you are walking down a sidewalk that has been chalked with a hopscotch board, HOP
• Look up at the clouds and SPIN - unless you have vertigo of course
• Turn off the television and computer and pull out a board game tonight
• Blow bubbles 

Find a way to play.

Today, I am going on a picnic, and then a sail on a Tall Ship on Lake Michigan along the Chicago skyline with my amazing husband. 

I'd love to hear how you played today!

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Today is the only day that we have

Time...

Is it just me, or did we all think our parents were insane when they told us that time goes faster and faster as you grow older? WOW were they right!

This time of year, it's so easy to look back and reflect on lazy summer days. Didn't summer seem to last forever?

Remember being BORED? HA What a concept! Can you remember the last time you were bored?

As women entrepreneurs, we are always seeking better time management skills, training and techniques. Trying to squeeze an extra hour or two into any given day.

I posit that a large contributor to the phenomenon of time moving ever faster is our lack of ability to be present in the moment. We are always thinking about the next thing on the list, and the more we do that, the faster time goes. Certainly this isn't true 100% of the time, sometimes things that are magical just go by in a flash despite being fully present - like your wedding day, or Christmas morning. I think that's part of the magic maybe :)

My wish for you today, is that you be fully present in today. Today is the only day that we have. There are no guarantees. As a girl who was struck by a car as a pedestrian not once, but twice in my grade school years I can positively say that any one of us can step off of a curb and be hit by a car or a bus. There are no guarantees.

It's still important to have a schedule and a plan and all of those things. But take some time to breathe in the space you're in and enjoy today. 

It's the only day we have!  

Women work so hard

I received a great tweet this week from Cassandra Washington @exceedlearning. 

"Wow! Women wrk so hard. They nd a space 2 relax."

How true is that? 

• What woman you know doesn't do at least 3 jobs?
  
• Who makes it look effortless most of the time?
  
• Who doesn't get thanked enough?
  
• Who slowly and quietly gets more overwhelmed each day?
  
• Who will never complain about the load she bears?

We all know how important it is to take care of ourselves, but we often neglect it. 

When you make a space to relax in your home, at least you have a go-to spot when you need to regroup and your girlfriends and a bottle of wine don't happen to be handy.

Need Inspiration? Check out my website or my Pin Boards. While you're at my site, don't forget to sign up to get my BONUS Report ~ How to create your personal sanctuary. 

You work so hard, you need a space to relax!

 
 

Find your thing

Do you have a thing? 

You know, a thing that can make you deliriously happy if you just think of it. Or, at least give you a giggle or at the very very least make you smirk.

The weather in Chicago today is grey and rainy and dreary and about 25-35 degrees colder than it has been the past week or so. If you're familiar with Chicago weather, you know the saying "If you don't like it, just wait a minute, it'll change." And Chicagoans, like most folks, tend to let their moods change with the weather. 

But I noticed today, that mine just didn't. I'm just as happy and silly and goofy as I was yesterday when it was a glorious 70 degrees and sunny. Truth be told, I am generally happy and silly and goofy. 

On any given day, how do you respond to the above question? Do you let your moods change with the weather, or the turn of events of the day?

Or have you found your thing?

Years ago, the catch phrase "happy place" was coined. In the Adam Sandler movie, it was the way he would manage his anger.

Life is so short, and none of us know how long we have. We need to make the most of each day. 

Find your thing. 

Find something that can turn your day or your mood around on a dime (in a good direction). Maybe it is thoughts of a past vacation, or a future one. Maybe it's the image of your children, or your spouse, or your future children or spouse. Maybe it's the thought of the guy in the latest Jockey underwear ad. Maybe it's a warm shiny memory of your Mom or Grandma.

My thing? My slightly off color, constantly wacky sense of hearing, I mean humor. I hear the silliest, most ridiculous things in peripheral conversations. I manage to see the funny in most situations. Life is pretty funny, when you look at it the right way. 

Don't let anyone choose your mood but you. When you start to feel sour, remember your thing.

What's your thing? 

Momentum

As we near the end of January, many people have already abandoned their New Year's Resolutions and are headed back to doing things the way that they did them in 2011. Great intentions have been thwarted again by the inescapable LIFE, happening to all of us again, always.
Like many people I started 2012 with big plans and goals, and though I have experienced some setback, I am prepared to enter February more energized, more committed and more excited about those goals than I was at the end of December or the beginning of January.
As I was reflecting on this today, after receiving another new lead from an unknown referral source, I considered what is making 2012 different for me than 2011 and what is keeping my eyes on the prize. And I think it's momentum.
As you start any endeavor, especially something new, or something you are re-starting from a set back or a stand still, the beginning stages are the most difficult. Whenever I think of this, I remember all the times I had to push my Ford Tempo on the side of the road when I used to own it. Getting it started was always the hardest part. One 5'3" tall girl, behind a whole car, pushing with all her might. At first, nothing happens, shoes not meant for that purpose slide on the pavement, footing lost. Next, small changes happen, at first, almost imperceptible, the car starts to rock. Going with the rocking, soon you find a pendulum effect, and the further the car rocks back the farther it rocks forward. Then, slowly the car starts to creep forward. At first, every muscle in your legs groan with each foot you move forward, then, it happens so gradually that you don't even notice the transition and before you know it, the car is rolling almost effortlessly forward with you walking behind.
This is how momentum is, and I think sometimes, we get so focused on the struggle that we don't see it through to the point where things are rolling along almost effortlessly. For so many people, I think that January is that month of rocking. And when we rock backward, instead of getting into the rhythm and working with the pendulum, we become disillusioned and stay in the backward movement, not knowing that just getting into a rhythm and continuing to move forward would so quickly make all the difference.
I am reminded that when I get into the rhythm with my business, with my exercise routine, with training my dog, with any goals I set out to accomplish in 2012 that the beginning is the hardest part. It seems that no progress is being made at all. Setbacks seem so big, because the forward distance is not yet great enough to show their insignificance. 
I don't know what kept me moving forward so far. I took more than a week off of my exercise routine, yet I've still lost a few pounds. I felt stagnated in the progress of training my dog, yet at agility class this week, he overcame 2 major obstacles he's been completely stuck on. And I have not yet mastered the new business habits I mean to put in place this year, yet I am on track to achieve my first goal of the year and the referrals and new business leads keep rolling in. 
Some achievements have been so small, but for whatever reason I noticed them. And I'm thankful. Celebrating the small achievements keeps me juiced to keep pushing for the large ones.
What is your momentum doing for you in 2012?

Women light up the world

Image by Jose Betancur via Flickr

I am so lucky that I grew up with a Mom who demonstrated that a woman can be strong, confidant and can do anything. Just by watching who she was, and how she kicked ass and how much respect and love she had, I not only was told the proverbial "you can do or be anything" but I saw it was really possible.

I am so lucky in that I get to meet, work with and befriend amazing women every month, every week, every day in my business. Women who I can call colleagues, fellow business owners and entrepreneurs who I either meet through doing business or who also associate with PartyLite. Women who graciously invite me into their homes for a special evening sharing warmth and friendship. Women who invite me to help them make a change in their life, adding income, adding confidence, adding new life skills or just making new friends of their own. 

I am SO lucky and I know it, I say it each day. Thank you for lighting up my world! I don't take you for granted. You make a difference every day, whether you realize it or not. You make a difference to me every day, whether I thank you or not.

Today, I thank you. Thank you for making my life the wonderful place it is.

I don't normally forward power point presentation videos but this is so in line with my thinking that I felt I needed to share it today. Enjoy. And do take some time to fill your lamp!

http://www.flickspire.com/m/SimpleTruths/OilForYourLamp

Shannon

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What's that smell?

 I was reading today some interesting research on how scent affect work performance. Some companies are actually finding that scent can improve employee performance and job satisfaction.


It has been well established that scent plays a huge part in mood as it is linked to a specific part of the brain associated with memory. Some fragrances stimulate, others relax. Some promote feelings of well-being while others increase aggression.


Sleep deprivation, multi-tasking and too many demands on our time leave us feeling drained of energy and often cranky. The simple addition of scent can give the boost of energy needed to increase performance and stamina for the multi-tasks at hand and improve your mood while performing the many tasks you have in any day. Put this to work for you!

Lavender not only relieves stress but also prevents work performance deterioration.
Jasmine stimulate alertness, helps focus and increases hand-eye coordination.
Lemon scent increases stamina and lifts mood.

Peppermint increases alertness and performance accuracy.

Cinnamon scent increases concentration.

Vanilla reduces the startle-reflex and relieves stress and anxiety.

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