Some days are not OK

As you go through the course of your day, you are bound to encounter stress, frustration, sometimes anger, even sadness or downright despair.

You could be in a situation like I wrote about last week where you are experiencing a hostile environment either personally or professionally. You could be in a stressful job. You could just be a normal person going through a normal day where things just don't always go as planned.

And, those that know me well may be surprised to hear me say - yep, that's going to happen. Despite all the tips and tidbits I share, even if you follow the best self-care rituals on the planet, these things are going to happen. Anyone remember this scene from Forget Paris?

As I go through my day, I pass people, or connect with them over the phone, and invariably the "how are you?" question comes up. It's pretty unusual for me to respond with anything but one of my characteristic superlative replies - it seems "Fabulous" is the most common. - Right Brian Kucharski? Very often, the next thing I hear is "you're always great" or "you're always fabulous".

You know what, I am most of the time. Not always. That would be impossible unless I was really, clinically insane. (I'll never deny being a little crazy - maybe more than a little. haha) But we all have those moments, and  you know what? 

It's totally OK.

Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling. Sometimes you’ll get down, really down. Sometimes you’ll get hurt, crushed. Sometimes you will feel overwhelmed. What you resist, persists. So don’t resist. The sooner you get it all out the sooner you can move on. Now, that does NOT mean wallow, but deal with it. Finding your happiness is not about suppressing emotions, or neglecting to deal with them. It's about working through or seeing past them. And some are most assuredly more difficult than others.

One thing I do find very helpful is placing happiness triggers. 

See this little smiley face koosh dude? 

I've had him on my cube wall at my day j.o.b. for a while but recently decided to move him where he is in my sight line. He definitely brings a smile when I glance down and see him cheerfully smiling at me.

Photos, I have some photos of our trip to Barcelona, Spain above my computer monitor.

Sound, pick a great short sound byte or ring tone and set an alarm on your phone. You'll be energized by the great sound, and you can even use that as a reminder to take a breath or maybe take a break and a walk around.



Scent. Fragrance is our sense tied most closely to memory. Tuck a handkerchief in your purse sprayed with your husband's cologne. Or your baby's shampoo.

Energy boosters. Make a list of small, five to 10 minute acts that make you feel better. This is hard for many women, so don’t be afraid to start small.

Above and beyond the Happiness triggers, do one thing for yourself every day. It doesn't have to be a big thing, but it has to be JUST for you. It may be giving yourself a pedicure or giving yourself permission to say “no”. It may be flowers on your desk. Give yourself permission for indulgence. Every day.

Love your imperfections. They are a key ingredient that goes into making you you. Laugh at yourself.
Have you grabbed my free guide yet? Quick tips on reducing stress. www.winewomenandwax.biz/freebie.html

Find your thing

Do you have a thing? 

You know, a thing that can make you deliriously happy if you just think of it. Or, at least give you a giggle or at the very very least make you smirk.

The weather in Chicago today is grey and rainy and dreary and about 25-35 degrees colder than it has been the past week or so. If you're familiar with Chicago weather, you know the saying "If you don't like it, just wait a minute, it'll change." And Chicagoans, like most folks, tend to let their moods change with the weather. 

But I noticed today, that mine just didn't. I'm just as happy and silly and goofy as I was yesterday when it was a glorious 70 degrees and sunny. Truth be told, I am generally happy and silly and goofy. 

On any given day, how do you respond to the above question? Do you let your moods change with the weather, or the turn of events of the day?

Or have you found your thing?

Years ago, the catch phrase "happy place" was coined. In the Adam Sandler movie, it was the way he would manage his anger.

Life is so short, and none of us know how long we have. We need to make the most of each day. 

Find your thing. 

Find something that can turn your day or your mood around on a dime (in a good direction). Maybe it is thoughts of a past vacation, or a future one. Maybe it's the image of your children, or your spouse, or your future children or spouse. Maybe it's the thought of the guy in the latest Jockey underwear ad. Maybe it's a warm shiny memory of your Mom or Grandma.

My thing? My slightly off color, constantly wacky sense of hearing, I mean humor. I hear the silliest, most ridiculous things in peripheral conversations. I manage to see the funny in most situations. Life is pretty funny, when you look at it the right way. 

Don't let anyone choose your mood but you. When you start to feel sour, remember your thing.

What's your thing?