This week I had to give myself a serious attitude adjustment. I had fallen into that trap that happens this time of year, as we get closer to the holiday and my list of things to do stays the same, but my list of social obligations grows.
This weekend is my baking weekend. For me, this is a fairly good sized task Sneek a peek at the madness. I typically spend one day from roughly 9am to midnight and then a second day nearly as long. This weekend, we have social obligations Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday evening.
We were planning to swap one Saturday evening obligation for another when we got word that Mike's family was coming in from out of town, as we haven't seen them in several years. Then we got word that the family gathering was to be at 4pm more than an hour away.
All I could think of was how it affected my baking schedule, and began to fret about how I would get everything done. I had a great deal of trouble sleeping as I worried and worried.
Thankfully, a night's sleep gave me an attitude adjustment. What is important is spending time with family and loved ones. The lists of things will or won't get done, and everyone will certainly understand.
So, I told Mike today that we need to attend our original Saturday night engagement after our family gathering and I'll figure out the baking the best I can, but if we have the good fortune to have friends, family and loved ones that are near by, who invite us to gather and celebrate, and we have the most exceptional fortune to have my pilot husband home to attend said gatherings, we need to remember what is important.
So, today's advise is: your friends and loved ones will care less about what they received as a gift, or how many, or whether your bannister has the perfect amount of garland on it than they will about the memories you share as you come together this holiday season. If given the choice between completing tasks and joining with friends and loved ones, please choose the loved ones. You may make a memory of a life time.
If you are anything like me, you have a list of girlfriends, or other favorite people in your life that you are always promising to get together with. Do these comments sound familiar?
It's been too long, we need to get together.
As soon as (insert child's sport) season is over, we need to go get coffee.
Let's do lunch after (insert current life event).
So week after week and month after month, time expands and you still haven't kept that promise you made to someone in your life you truly care about and really enjoy spending time with.
And it's a catch 22. You feel guilty because you haven't kept your commitment, and you feel guilty, as if it's self-indulgent, to take the time to keep the commitment. You can't win.
And now the holidays are here, and that guilt feels more present than ever. This is the time of year to connect with those you don't see often. Now you add a layer of social expectation to your guilt cycle.
And to top it all off, you have a boat load of extra things on your list to get done.
But what if that's the answer, not another problem?
Guess what?
All of your girlfriends and favorite people have a boat load of extra things on their list to get done too!
What if you did some of them together?
- Knock out the last of your holiday shopping together
- Have a cookie baking day
- Make holiday party appetizers or hors d'oeuvres that can be frozen and reheated
- Go to drop off your holiday donations together
- Do a kid watching swap and steal 15-30 minutes to visit at drop off/pick up
- My personal favorite, and something I have done with my girlfriends in the past, a gift wrapping party - everyone has a bunch of gifts to wrap - get together at 1 person's house and visit and catch up while you get your wrapping done
These are just a few suggestions, but you can apply this to anything you have on your list. And it's not just something you can do during the holidays, any time of year you can call your girlfriend and see if she needs or wants to do one of the things on your to-do list that week. It's more fun to do together too!
That is good self-care! Getting stuff crossed off your list, banishing the guilt around keeping our commitments to our very favorite people, and the best part, actually getting to see and spend time with them!
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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I look at my schedule for December filled with gatherings and get
togethers, fun and festivities, and I think to myself, "This is my favorite holiday!"
In Chicago,
we have been having some seriously crazy weather, and we're enjoying it, but
it's a little weird. On Sunday, leaving a party, I said to my
hostess - Christmas music and air conditioning, it just doesn't seem
right!
As I look forward to this month of caring and sharing, rejoicing and
reconnecting, I am reminded of some advice I got when I was planning my
wedding many years ago.
Pay attention and enjoy the planning. The day
comes and goes so fast it's like a blur. Relish every moment of the
preparation.
I was thankful I followed that advice as we took a full year to plan our wedding, and true to the predictions, the day was so fast. I captured moments and committed them to memory. Thank goodness for wonderful friends with cameras that captured great moments as well.
I find we do much the same in preparation for the holidays. We make plans for a big party, or our family gathering. There's the shopping and the decorating and the wrapping and the baking. All in a rush looking at the deadline on the clock. Then December 26th arrives and the presents are gone and many start taking down the decorations and the melancholy creeps in.
As you are making your lists and checking them twice this holiday season, take some time to stop and embrace the magic. Go ice skating, walk down your favorite city street and look at the lights, enjoy a mug of cocoa, mulled cider or egg nog.
You'll be happy you did!
Share what magic you plan to take a moment to enjoy this year!
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You can listen live, via replay, see the schedule and download the
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I felt so proud of myself this weekend.
Has anyone else bought those 4 step face care systems but almost never do all 4 steps? You know you should, you understand the steps and why they work. In my case, the system corrected my adult onset acne, so I totally get it, but in the frenzy of my morning and evening routines, I convince myself that I can't spare the 1 or 2 minutes it would take to complete "the whole thing" which I think I imagine to be like an hour in my mind. You have to wash, exfoliate, tone, spot treat and hydrate, and then there's the mask! Heck, half the time, I take my eye makeup off, but don't even manage to wash the rest of the makeup off. It's such a small thing, such a minute amount of time, but I manage to make myself believe that I can't spare even that.
But this Saturday, I held myself to my commitment to myself. I worked out, and I did my whole face care routine in the morning. It took less than 5 minutes. I didn't manage to do it in the evening as well, but I added it to 1 routine and it made me feel GREAT!
It's funny how we can make excuses not to do the things we know we should do for ourselves, for our health and well being, even when they are small. We aren't really saving that much time for other activities, but we think we are.
But here's the cool thing... once you make these tiny adjustments and add them to your routine, you start taking better care of yourself without the herculean effort you think it requires.
You wouldn't think of waking up or going to bed without brushing your teeth, right? It's just routine.
Sorry, had to throw in a bit of a chuckle there :)
Choose something tiny, miniscule that you know you should be doing to take care of yourself. Something you've been meaning and meaning and meaning to do, but keep finding reasons not to. Add it to 1 of your daily routines. Remember, it takes 30 days to make a habit, so do it for 30 days, and see the difference it makes!
I'd love to hear the item you are going to add!
Hey! I'm going to be on the radio! LIVE on
Wednesday, December 12th @ 7:00 PM CST at www.CashFlowShowRadio.com
You can listen live, via replay, see the schedule and download the
Smartphone app at: www.CashFlowShowRadio.com
Get your free guide: “Self Care Tips for Personal and Professional Success”
www.winewomenandwax.biz/freebie.html
