Stress? Everyone's got it. So what? Right?

I know many of you are entrepreneurs, and so you are definitely a step or two ahead of the “average Jane” in that at least, you are passionate about what you do each day. But that doesn’t make it any less stressful. Some may say more stress, I say different stress. You’re not worried about the company layoffs, but you are worried about your company profits and where your next customer is going to come from.

What is your current stress level? 
 
Rate the following questions 1-5 on how true the statements are for you:

1. I find it difficult to keep up with everything going on in my life
2. I never seem to sleep enough
3. My energy isn't what I want it to be
4. I eat too much when I'm nervous
5. I get angry or frustrated over little things
6. I find it difficult to achieve the lifestyle I want
7. I find it difficult to take the time to take care of me
8. Anxiety, frustration, sadness, anger, guilt, or embarrassment get in the way of me enjoying my life
9. I find myself worrying about aspects of my life (1 for each)
   job finances success relationships marriage children

Compare your hand temperature to your neck temperature by touching your neck with the fingertips of both hands. Do your fingers feel colder than your neck? Do your fingers feel warm like your neck?
Warm Hands are Relaxed, Cold Hands are Tense.

If your fingers feel really cold, then you are showing extra tension perhaps too much stress.
If your fingers feel cool, then you are showing some tension.
If your fingers are warm like your neck, then you may be relaxed and comfortable.
If your fingers feel hotter than your neck, then you may be deeply relaxed.

Rate Yourself:

Score:

9-18         You are one cool cucumber, one happy camper. You got it under  
                control. Go YOU! You should share your secrets with your friends.
19-27       You are right on the edge. Still in control, but starting to feel the 
                signs.
28-37       We need to talk! You seriously need to schedule some girl time.     
                Maybe a 2nd glass of wine.
38-46       Danger danger Will Robinson! You are on serious stress overload.
               We need a "6 girlfriends and a bottle of wine" intervention!

Now, if you've read my blog before, you know my top 2 stress relief suggestions. Whether you are able to get together with your girlfriends or not, whether you are able to create a calming space in your home or not, you still need to find your “Happy Place”. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but any of us could get hit by a bus tomorrow stepping off a curb. We have to stop waiting for “someday” to be happy. No more of this “I just have to knuckle down and really work the business now, and when we hit X then I can relax a little and take time to do “all those things”.

Aren’t “all those things” the whole point?

Women more than men as entrepreneurs, and business women make huge sacrifices believing that later, they’ll be able to make up for it, after they achieve their success. They miss the kids’ games, birthday parties, anniversary dinners, girlfriend lunches and they are still making 70 cents on the dollar compared to a man in the same position. Men don’t feel guilty about watching the game instead of mowing the lawn, or playing a round of golf instead of making an appearance at the neighborhood barbecue.
Women work twice as hard, make less money, all while taking care of every household detail. Now I know we are busy, and it’s tough to schedule play time. But isn’t that the whole point? Shouldn’t we take the kind of care of ourselves that we demand for those we love?
 
I know, especially busy women entrepreneurs are high octane people. “I thrive on stress.” Right? “I do my best work under pressure.” Right? But it adds up, and it sneaks up on you like grey hairs and before you know it you burn out.

And aside from the passion you feel for your business, isn’t part of why you want to be a successful business woman just so that you can enjoy “all those things”.  

A turning point in my life was when my husband was laid off from a corporate job that had made him so depressed he was a completely different person. We likened the layoff to when a loved one has been really sick for a long time, and they pass away. It’s sad, but it’s really a relief that the suffering is over. We decided it was our last best opportunity for him to pursue his life long dream rather than go back to doing what he hated somewhere else. We walked away from a 70K income and invested an additional 70K in the additional training he needed.
We decided we didn’t need to suffer any more. My husband’s happiness in his career was more important than his income or our lifestyle. I didn’t know how, but I knew I’d do anything to work it out.
So I started my business alongside my corporate position to supplement our income. Don’t worry, this isn’t a pitch for my “business opp”. Here’s the point, in helping my husband make his dream come true, I not only found a dream I didn’t even know I had, but I figured out that life is supposed to be good and happy. Every day.

 
We learned that it is truly never too late to bring your dream to life. At 43 years of age, my husband got hired as an airline pilot. No more sitting in a cubicle for him. We learned that anything really is possible.
And we’ve figured out that life is about each day, making the most of who we are, where we are and most importantly who we are with.
It turns out it wasn’t just me experiencing this - we all get so busy living life, that we forget to Live Life.

I love this picture. I have this hanging next to my mirror so I see it every morning. These aren’t my words, but it reminds me how great each day can be.

 Waking Up Full of Awesome

There was a time when you were five years old, and you woke up full of awesome.
You knew you were awesome. You loved yourself.
You thought you were beautiful, even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.
You loved your body, and the things it could do. You thought you were strong. You knew you were smart.
Do you still have it? The awesome. Did someone take it from you? Did you let them?...
Look at her. She is full of awesome.
You were, once. Maybe you still are. Maybe you are in the process of getting it back.
All I know is that if you aren’t waking up feeling like this, you are really missing out.


And if you can’t find your awesome every day, find your happy place. Find your thing or list of things that make you smile, or better yet, make you giggle. Maybe your thing is your beautiful daughter, or your handsome son. Maybe your thing is the vacation to Maui you took 2 years ago and you would love to repeat. Maybe your thing is art, something beautiful like Monet. Maybe your thing is music. I definitely can’t have a bad day, when I start it off by shaking my groove thang or singing at the top of my lungs alone in my car.
Maybe your thing is really great shoes, I know I have a certain kind of joy when I’m wearing a really great pair of shoes.
My big “thing” is I find the funny. Truth be told, sometimes I find the funny in inappropriate things or situations, and I have to stifle my giggle. More truth be told, sometimes I’m more successful at giggle stifling than others.

And here the secret formula:
Start your day with that thing. Before you walk out the door, or pick up the phone for your first business conversation, go to your happy place. Give yourself the gift of 30 seconds - heck go for it and maybe give yourself a whole minute. Think about your thing. Look at yourself in the mirror with that huge smile on your face.
And then, when you feel your stress levels on the rise, take a moment, take a breath, and go to your thing, your happy place, and (if it’s not completely inappropriate) give yourself the gift of that smile again.

You’ll be surprised how much just that moment in your happy place will drain some of that stress away.