Finding Mr Right

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary. As a result, I'm inspired to write about something a little different than the norm.

I know I have several close personal girlfriends that have a lot of stress in their lives around finding that special someone, so I presume they aren't the only ladies in the world dealing with that right now. 

I used to work with a woman who always complained about not being able to find Mr. Right, and I would often respond that she needed to go out and do things and meet people, as he wasn't going to come knocking on her apartment door. Of course, she would reply "Why not? It happened to you."
And while that's true, it's not the norm and certainly won't happen to most people in the world.

As another girlfriend of mine often insists I share the story with new friends, I'll share it here.

It was summer 1990, I was living in Carbondale, IL. I was teaching preschool during the day and waiting tables at night. It is a college town, but I wasn't going to college at the time. Mike came up the balcony and knocked on my door looking for my neighbor across the hall. Being a college town, I did actually know where Nick was. I told Mike he was at work yadda yadda yadda. 

Pow Zoom Fireworks! 

It was crazy because everything I liked about him I totally didn't like. He wore regular jeans when everyone was wearing acid and stone wash, he wore cowboy boots, and I didn't know anyone that really did that, and he had LONG hair! And he was the hottest guy I had ever seen in my life. Later he came over and he and Nick were going out. He kept trying to convince me to come along with them. I was going out with another boy at the time and we were supposed to "talk" that night. Mike kept saying he wouldn't show, but I couldn't be the one not to show, so I stayed home and of course, he didn't show. So, the next day, I broke up with his answering machine. Mike and I went out that night, we stayed up all night and we've been together ever since.

As we got to know each other better, it was funny how many things that made him perfect for me were things you would think of as opposite. He was the first guy I dated that I couldn't manipulate in any way - now I know that sounds bad, but girls, we all know we have at least one if not two "secret weapons" in our arsenal to get our way when we really want it. Yeah, not one of them worked on him. He was the first guy I dated that I really, truly respected and still to this day consider my one true equal.

So what does any of this have to do with your stress level when it comes to finding Mr Right?

Here are my tips - not necessarily on finding Mr Right, but on not driving yourself crazy in the process.

1. Stop looking. It's crazy what finds you when you're not looking for it. Have you ever been in the grocery store trying to reconnect with someone who ran to another aisle? Ever had the experience where you're going down one aisle as they are going the opposite direction? This could be happening to you right now! 
2. Find things that you truly enjoy. Not only would it be awesome if the person you met was into the things you love - hint hint you *could* meet them while doing these things, but you never know who you'll meet that could connect you to that person.
3. Become the best version of you. When I was younger, I'd see all the time girls who were looking for another person to "be" their happiness. While I certainly don't think this is the case with any of my current girlfriends, I am sure it is still out there. And, when you are truly happy spending time with YOU, you'd be amazed how magnetic you become.

And in the process of these things, you'll find the anxiety over the process of finding the person will slowly dwindle.

Wishing you all the love and laughter in the world! It's certainly what makes my life the joy it is!