Less AAAHHHH and more aaahhhhh

Does this remind you of anyone you know? 

The woman of 2012

• You work full time, approximately 50 hours a week with a 40 minute commute each way. 

• You have 2 children who are each engaged in 3 programs, to which you must chauffeur them, that always seem to be scheduled at the same time in opposite directions.
• You clean. 
• You cook.
• You do the grocery shopping.
• You answer the phone, respond to email, and send about 1500 text messages per month.

You are overwhelmed, stressed out and ready to tip over the edge. 


Could you use less AAAAHHHHH and more aaaahhhhh?

Here are some quick tips to claim a space in your home as your personal sanctuary where you can regroup, recharge and get ready  to face the next day (or maybe the rest of today)

1. Choose a space. It doesn't have to be a whole room, though the bathroom is a great spot. It can just be a spot in front of a great window with natural light or a corner tucked away in a bedroom or even a big walk in closet.
2. Set the mood. Do you want to feel soothed, calmed and relaxed, or energized and motivated? Choose the mood you want to create.
3. Add some sound. Music, soft or bold, depending on the mood you wish to create, maybe a fountain if you're going for the soothing calming space.
4. Select your anchors. If you are creating a meditation space, perhaps a buddha for good luck, or another item that symbolizes zen. A soaking tub would be an anchor in a bathroom, or a comfy chair in a reading nook. Select the object that is going to anchor you to the space and the feeling you wish to create.
5. Make it your own, and excite your senses. Select items that hold sentimental value, or inspire or motivate you, or just make you feel exactly the way you are looking to feel. These can be a fragrance, a special keepsake, your signature oatmeal cookies, or anything that will make this your personal space. The more senses you can include, the more engaged you will be in this space.

Now you have a space where you can retreat to say buh bye to stress and hello to your favorite you. 

What kind of space do you want to create?
  

Related articles

• A Stress-Free Home

  ---

Build your Stress Burning Furnace

You’re stressed out. 

I get it.

You’re overworked, overbooked and overextended. 

I get it.

You’ve heard all the nicey nice strategies for reducing your stress, and they all make you think 

“sure, if I had time to lay around in a bath for an hour or two, I wouldn’t NEED stress relief”

or “If I could get 5 minutes of silence in my house, I’d love to try yoga or meditation.”

Now, I’m not going to tell you that you still shouldn’t try to carve out some time, even 15 minutes a day for some self care. And I still staunchly recommend finding an hour or 2 at least once a month for some girl on girl time. I have a whole other article on the benefit of and need for that.

BUT I am here to offer you a solution.

Have you ever heard that the more muscle a body has, the more fat is burned all the time, even when at rest? So, here’s how that works. If a person has more muscle mass, it increases their base metabolism so that their fat burning furnace is frying up more calories all the time, even when they are sitting or sleeping. The idea is that then this person will actually lose more weight and not have to kill themselves doing cardio or other fat burning aerobic exercise as much.

Have I lost you? Hang with me here.

I’m here to tell you that we can create a stress burning furnace for you so that even if you can’t find the time or the quiet to engage in those stress reducing activities, you will burn stress all the time if you follow this simple solution.

Create a home sanctuary.

First, don’t freak out and think I’m giving you another huge project or list of things to add to your already too long to do list. This doesn’t have to be done all in one swell foop as we say in my family.

Now, there is no one “recipe” for creating your home sanctuary, because something that is soothing to one person can be completely irritating to the next, but there are some simple steps to follow.

1. De-Clutter - one of the big things that will add to your stress level is clutter. We all have it. One great tip I learned was to grab a laundry basket when it’s not laundry day and go through the house. Everything that is in a place that it doesn’t belong goes into the laundry basket. Relocate items to the room they belong in or designate a “needs a home” spot in a location you don’t have to look at every day like a laundry room or the basement.
   
2. Let go of the guilt - those items you have in your home because great aunt Mary Sue gave them to you as a gift but you’ve always hated... take them down. If you MUST hang on to them, pack them with love in a hope chest with a lovely letter about great aunt Mary Sue. If you can bear to part with them, donate them to a local charity. Maybe you can even tell great aunt Mary Sue that she inspired you to make a charitable donation. You’ll get rid of that “I hate that” feeling when you go into that room and you’ll feel great for helping out a charity.
   
3. Change your color palette - This does not mean buying new furniture or repainting all your walls. So much of the focus and feeling of a room comes from the accessories! You can start by choosing a color palette for a room and shopping in your own home. You’d be surprised to find that the wall hanging from the front hallway takes on a completely different feel when it is in the living room. Invest in 1 great accent piece and shop in your home or at the discount stores to complete the look.
   
4. Create your happy place - pick one type of sanctuary to complete for yourself. This does not necessarily mean changing the kid’s old room into your new yoga and meditation studio, but heck, if that’s what you want, more power to you! Pick something like a bathroom spa retreat or a cozy book, music or game corner. Whatever is going to fill you with the most peace or joy and pull the corner of your home together.
   
5. Engage all your senses - the more senses you can please, the more peaceful you will feel. You can add a fountain or music for sound. Create the lighting that pleases you, whether that’s side lights, shaded lamps, direct sunlight or soft candle light. Bring in fragrances that create the mood you choose. These can come from natural sources like sprigs of evergreen trees, cinnamon brooms, scented flowers, or herbs. They can also come from room sprays, fragrance warmers or scented candles. Different plants and herbs produce different beneficial results. For example, lavender is an excellent stress reliever, spearmint can help bring greater mental clarity, and anise has been known to help to relieve menstrual cramps. Bring living plants into the house that not only add beauty to the surroundings, but that also bring in healthful oxygen and purify the air.

When you’re finished, your home should make you feel joyous, supported, at peace, inspired, and free to be yourself. Our homes should be sanctuaries for our bodies, minds, and spirits. They should be restorative and far from the stress-filled world of work, deadlines, and traffic jams.

Once you have created this space, it will become your stress burning furnace. Just like that high muscle mass metabolism, even if you’re helping Suzi with her algebra, just being in your home sanctuary will slowly chip away at that day’s stress buildup.

Related articles

• De-Cluttering (inspirationlocation.com)

Got Stress?

Do you feel like this? 

Or like this?

These days women are experiencing stress at epidemic levels. We are seeing the effects of this not only in our mental anguish levels, but in more and more serious physical ramifications.

More than 200,000 women die each year from heart attacks. More than 159,000 women die each year of congestive heart failure. 

It is increasing infertility. Scientists found that those with high levels of a stress hormone stop ovulating and are therefore unable to conceive.

We certainly know about weight gain and hair loss. The list of serious stress related side effects is growing in size and seriousness.

Shannon, why are you bringing us down? Isn't it bad enough that we feel crappy and stressed out?

Let me tell you why. I want you to feel like this 

And it's more possible than you think.

Here's 5 quick easy tips to get started crushing your stress instead of letting it crush you.

1. A relaxing bath.  Add music, candles and your favorite drink: beer, tea, hot chocolate, wine or even champagne. Close the door and forget about everything else for an hour or so.  
2. Comedy night: get in your favourite nibbles: chips, tortillas, salsa, crackers, cheese, pizza, chocolate, cookies, ice cream etc. Crack open a bottle of wine or grab whatever your favorite drink happens to be and spend a full evening watching your favourite funny films or comedians.
3. Get out of the firing line. Grab a journal or a book and go to a place you find peaceful and disconnected from the hustle and bustle. Maybe this is just going to a park for your lunch or coffee break. Maybe you've created a book nook sanctuary in your own home. Maybe you can sneak away for a day and get to a lakeside.
4. Music. Play some soothing music or something that makes you get up and dance dance dance.
5. Sweat it out. You don't have to run the Boston Marathon. Running is great for endorphins, but so is walking, biking, swimming, yoga, or tai chi. 

Make a point to find at least 15 minutes a day to engage in some form of stress relief. At least once a week, carve out an hour or 2. It may seem like a luxury, but trust me, it's not.

Here's to you crushing your stress!

Are you willing to commit to crushing your stress? What activity can you make a point to engage in this week? 

Related articles

• 5 More Reasons Stress Can Mess With Beauty (bellasugar.com)
• Women: is your stress slowly killing you? ()
• How Stress causes health problems (keithmilby.wordpress.com)

Why Create a Home Sanctuary?

Today, I want to share an article by Janie Franz. 
This taking care of ourselves stuff is really truly important. Not all new age and woo woo. We blow it off and then we wonder why our physical and mental health is on a constant state of decline. We tell ourselves that we just need to make it through Friday and then we'll get a chance to regroup. Then the weekend comes and goes with its own list of to-do's and chores and obligations. 
We really do need to have a space where we can relax, regroup and recharge so we can face the next day, or the rest of today. 

Why Create a Home Sanctuary? 

 
In an age of advanced technology and labour saving devices, we are all working more and taking less time off. According to Rubin R. Naiman, author of Healing Night, during the last thirty years, people also have been working longer hours and more days per week, increasing their time at work by one full month or 150 extra hours a year. Work and family responsibilities keep us on the go and very stressed. We all need a special place that we can call our own to help us cope with this lifestyle and the stress it produces. Our homes are the natural venues for these special sanctuaries.

What is a Sanctuary?
A sanctuary is a place of refuge and safety. It is a place where you come to feel inspired and renewed. We all need a place we can escape to where we can rest, feel pampered, and recharge our spiritual batteries.

This is especially important for women. Though women may keep a household running and everybody else's spaces clean and functioning, they don't always have a place of their own. If your home is small or there are many living in your household, the need for your special space is even more crucial.

You need a place where you can relax, meditate, exercise, create, and pamper yourself. Though some of these activities can be done in group living spaces like a family room, living room, or a furnished basement, you will most likely be in a space where others are already present or where there is the potential for others to intrude on your activities. Some activities like meditation need solitude and cannot be done in when others can interrupt you.

Luxury or Necessity?
A home sanctuary is not a luxury. It is a critical part of coping with stress and meeting our basic needs and our being needs. That includes our biological needs, safety needs, aesthetic needs, cognitive needs, and transcendence needs.

Safety
We need to be able to come home to a restful, safe place where we can disconnect from the stresses of the day. We need to be able to close our doors (and lock them if we need to) and breathe a relaxing sigh. Feeling safe and comfortable in our homes or just one special room can help us cope.

Self-confidence
We also need to think well of ourselves and feel capable and belong. Activities that we do in our home sanctuary spaces can build our self-esteem. Here, we can reflect on our successes and develop new skills.

Belonging
Having a special sanctuary space can help us feel that we are valued and belong. We honor ourselves by creating a special place where we can engage in those activities that will help us create and know ourselves better. When others in the household respect our special place and our right to have it, we feel that we belong. If we can share our interests with others in our special place, that expands our sense of belonging.

Biological and Aesthetic Needs
Grooming routines combine both biological and aesthetic needs. Bathrooms and vanity areas are places where we take time to look good and feel even better. Having a place where we can pamper ourselves and explore new grooming tools (nail polish, new scented soaps, etc.) can help us relax and tap into playfulness.

Aesthetic needs can also be met by finding something beautiful to look at. Often this is art, photographs, sculpture, flowers, or plants. Having a special place to look at beauty is important in reducing our stress and helping us to grow as human beings.

Cognitive Needs
A home sanctuary can also be a place where we can continue to learn without the pressures of jobs or school. We can read or study for pleasure or to find meaning or solve problems. Therefore, having a special place is important for meeting our cognitive needs.

Transcendence Needs
Finally, a home sanctuary provides a place for us to meditate, create, and experience spiritual or peak experiences that give our lives added meaning. We can do this because we feel safe and protected and can then explore this inner, spiritual territory.

Creating a home sanctuary, therefore, is not a luxury but a way we can meet our basic needs and our being needs. We can use the insights we gain doing activities in our home sanctuary space that can help us grow as human beings. We also may learn skills to cope with the frenetic pace of our lives. We all need a special place where we can just relax and allow our bodies, minds, and spirits flourish.  


Read more about Janie at http://www.relaxationexpert.co.uk 

I'd love to hear about your home sanctuary space. 

• Do you have one? What kind of space is it, a spa like bathroom, a cozy reading nook, a zen exercise and meditation space? 

• If you don't have one, what would kind of space would you love to create?

Does your home empower or sabotage you?

Image by Steve-h via Flickr

I had the opportunity to attend a fabulous seminar this week with Fabienne Fredrickson along with an impressive selection of other very smart people in business. I was chatting with a new friend, Pat Perkins and we were discussing how your home environment impacts you both personally and professionally. Pat is a brilliant coach for women looking to move up in Corporate America, and she often asks her clients if they feel comfortable entertaining their boss or colleagues in their homes. When they express concern or embarrassment, she sees that as a red flag. 

Have you ever had that nagging feeling that something just isn't right? When we are out of congruence, or alignment, or whatever you want to call it, it throws us off kilter and nothing works the way that it's supposed to. We don't get the results we work so hard for and truly deserve. 

For example, if you are a brilliant, sharp dressed, well spoken woman at the office, you are seen and respected as such. But if your home is not reflective of that same level, you feel out of integrity. It's that little voice in the back of your head that tells you you don't deserve that promotion... yet, or you're not good enough... yet. To perform at your highest level and get the results you deserve, you need for all areas of your life to be on the same level.

Similarly, women, especially, need a place in their home that is just for them. Whether it is a bedroom or bathroom sanctuary, or a quiet corner of a living room with a comfy chair and a book-stand. Women need to allow themselves that special place where they can unwind and recharge. It's not a luxury, it's critical to our well being and the well being of all those we care for.

This doesn't mean that you need a million dollar home makeover, there are loads of tips and tricks to update and revamp your home to be a more proper reflection of you. 

Are you wondering what the heck that extremely cute little duck has to do with any of this? His bright colors inspired me on this snowy day in Chicago. A bright piece of art like this is a great focal point in a room, that is, if he reflects who YOU are.

What effect is your home having on you today? Does it reflect who you are and where you are going, or is it a constant reminder of where you came from?

Related articles

• 8 Ways Your Home may be Sabotaging Your Love Life (fullbloomfengshui.wordpress.com)

A warm home on a cold day

We have been blessed so far this year in Chicago with an amazingly warm winter. We got some temperatures in the low 30's and they seemed cold by comparison to the mid 40s we've had most of the winter. HA! As a kid growing up, we thought nothing of below zero temps in the winter.
We've also had an extremely sunny winter so far. A few grey days here and there, usually when the snow pops in, but we definitely haven't seen the weeks of grey with no release that we've seen in years past. 
Nonetheless, these are the days we like to stay snuggled indoors. Perhaps with a super soft blanket and a good book or movie. Maybe with a hot mug of tea or cocoa. Soup sounds better than salad for lunch or dinner.
We crave warmth in the month of February in the midwest. Not just the temperature on the thermostat, but warmth in all it's forms. Shops decorated in deep, sunny hues catch our interest. Lush, overstuffed chairs seem so inviting.
Coffee shops are filled to overflow these days, not just because they offer a warm beverage, but because they offer cozy interiors, warm hues and soft couches. - credit to Reese Spykerman for the great visual wording.
I love the feeling of walking into my house and being enveloped by the warmth and coziness of it. Warm, rich, friendly.Of course, the fact that every room is adorned with candles doesn't hurt :)


What are you doing to satisfy your warmth craving these days?  

Some are dreaming of a tropical vacation, planning spring break activities, some are enjoying that coffee house vibe. Some are getting warmth by hanging out with family and friends. Some are lavishing themselves with a hot bath, possibly accompanied by a glass of wine.

Share how you are warming up this week. 

Related articles

• 5 traits of a cozy home
• Cozy Winter Decorating 
• Poetic Winter: WARMTH (coopersview.com)

I love what I do

Image via WikipediaI read a lot. I particularly read a lot about my industry, direct sales. I read information by trainers and those who have achieved what I aim to achieve myself. 
Today, for some reason, it struck me that when I hear other people in my industry talk about how much they love what they do, they often talk about how they love what they "get to do" or what they "don't have to do". 

"I love that I can be home to put my kids on the bus and get them off the bus."

"I love that I don't have to ask my boss for a day off."

"I love that I can work in my PJs."

"I love that I get a free company trip each year."

"I love that I don't have to wake up to an alarm in the morning."

"I love that I can take a nap in the afternoon."

"I love that I make my own schedule."

Those are all great benefits, to be sure. But it got me to thinking that I don't often hear people talking about actually loving what they do do when they are working.

I LOVE what I do. I love when the new product line is released. I love pouring over the pages and picking my favorite items. I love smelling the new scents and taking the sparkly shiny new pieces out of their blue boxes. 
I love becoming friends with my customers as we work together.
I love doing a home party! Hanging out with a room full of women, who are usually drinking wine :) laughing, sharing, connecting.
I love helping women pick out a new look for their home.
I love helping women pick out  the perfect gift for their mother, daughter, sister.
I love helping women start their own business.
I love working with women as they embark on a journey of self discovery and empowerment.
I love watching women become strong, confidant business women.
I love learning from other brilliant, powerful business women.


I love what I do. There are great benefits too, don't get me wrong. 
But why do I do what I do? Because I freaking LOVE it!

What do you love about what you do?

What if we just did the thing?

Image by Tonymadrid Photography via FlickrI find myself inspired by another blogger this week. So much so that I am putting "pen to paper" once again myself. Reading the story of The traveling red dress, I was nearly brought to joyful tears. I say often that I'm not a crier but maybe I am becoming more of one. Maybe I am more able to put myself in another's shoes as I ripen (I like that a bit better than age, eh). 
I am so touched by Jenny's vision with the dress. I feel so inline with her thoughts on how we deny ourselves the things in life that are impractical. Practical. What a horrible word! What were our mother's thinking when they drilled THAT into our heads? 
As women, we are always doing doing doing for others, aren't we? And then when we entertain a thought about doing something for ourselves, we feel guilty and bad and run back and redouble our doing efforts.
What if we entertained our impractical? I'm not saying quit your job and join the circus or take a 3 month leave of absence and go see if you can learn to surf. What if, just sometimes, we did the awesome, fun, silly, funny, outrageous, big, little, impractical thing that sprang into our heads? 
What if today's daughters learned THAT from today's moms? 
What have you won, conquered, learned, fought, overcome, faced, apologized for, gotten past? It doesn't have to be huge, but I bet, I bet that you have something to celebrate. 
What if we just did the thing? Things like flying lessons, and ballet shoes, and breaking into spontaneous song, and building a train set, and crawling onto the roof just to see the stars better.  Things like cartwheels and learning how to box and painting encouraging words on your body to remind yourself that you’re worth it...Find a playground swing and remember how it felt to fly.  
What would life be like? 
I think, it would be WAY better than it is today. Way better! 

Momentum

As we near the end of January, many people have already abandoned their New Year's Resolutions and are headed back to doing things the way that they did them in 2011. Great intentions have been thwarted again by the inescapable LIFE, happening to all of us again, always.
Like many people I started 2012 with big plans and goals, and though I have experienced some setback, I am prepared to enter February more energized, more committed and more excited about those goals than I was at the end of December or the beginning of January.
As I was reflecting on this today, after receiving another new lead from an unknown referral source, I considered what is making 2012 different for me than 2011 and what is keeping my eyes on the prize. And I think it's momentum.
As you start any endeavor, especially something new, or something you are re-starting from a set back or a stand still, the beginning stages are the most difficult. Whenever I think of this, I remember all the times I had to push my Ford Tempo on the side of the road when I used to own it. Getting it started was always the hardest part. One 5'3" tall girl, behind a whole car, pushing with all her might. At first, nothing happens, shoes not meant for that purpose slide on the pavement, footing lost. Next, small changes happen, at first, almost imperceptible, the car starts to rock. Going with the rocking, soon you find a pendulum effect, and the further the car rocks back the farther it rocks forward. Then, slowly the car starts to creep forward. At first, every muscle in your legs groan with each foot you move forward, then, it happens so gradually that you don't even notice the transition and before you know it, the car is rolling almost effortlessly forward with you walking behind.
This is how momentum is, and I think sometimes, we get so focused on the struggle that we don't see it through to the point where things are rolling along almost effortlessly. For so many people, I think that January is that month of rocking. And when we rock backward, instead of getting into the rhythm and working with the pendulum, we become disillusioned and stay in the backward movement, not knowing that just getting into a rhythm and continuing to move forward would so quickly make all the difference.
I am reminded that when I get into the rhythm with my business, with my exercise routine, with training my dog, with any goals I set out to accomplish in 2012 that the beginning is the hardest part. It seems that no progress is being made at all. Setbacks seem so big, because the forward distance is not yet great enough to show their insignificance. 
I don't know what kept me moving forward so far. I took more than a week off of my exercise routine, yet I've still lost a few pounds. I felt stagnated in the progress of training my dog, yet at agility class this week, he overcame 2 major obstacles he's been completely stuck on. And I have not yet mastered the new business habits I mean to put in place this year, yet I am on track to achieve my first goal of the year and the referrals and new business leads keep rolling in. 
Some achievements have been so small, but for whatever reason I noticed them. And I'm thankful. Celebrating the small achievements keeps me juiced to keep pushing for the large ones.
What is your momentum doing for you in 2012?

How would YOU like to come home to a room filled with candlelight?

Image by jason tinder via FlickrI came home last night to the often copied scene from countless movies. It was the end of a long day, I walked into my family room to find a room filled with light from nothing but candles and a tiny Christmas tree. That's right, my husband did that, with no prompting whatsoever. 
Now don't get me wrong, this was not a grand gesture to sweep me off my feet, but it was the perfect end to a very long day.
I felt immediately relaxed, transported and removed from being tired, having a list of things to worry about and work on and simply melted into the couch.
Maybe this doesn't appeal to you. Maybe you don't have long days, and don't come home mentally and physically exhausted.
Maybe at this time of year, the late sunrise and early sunset don't make the days seem 30 hours long.
But I can tell you, I was sure happy that my home has candles to light, that my husband knows where they are, and that even when I'm not home, he thinks to light them up just for himself, because coming home to a room filled with candlelight was the perfect, relaxing end to my day.
Thanks Hubby!