Showing posts with label care giver. Show all posts
Showing posts with label care giver. Show all posts

Monday, July 16, 2012

Life happens... Then what?

We all have plans. 

Some are laid out well in advance and carefully, thoughtfully executed.
Some we more fall into and are more a matter of a path of least resistance.


But sometimes, LIFE happens. Something changes our plans outside of our timing and our influence. Illness, natural disaster, or very often in today's world, the loss of employment. 

It hurts. We feel betrayed. We feel a sense of failure. We feel anger. 

Most of all, we feel a loss of control.

Even if, in the case of loss of employment, we didn't want to be there in the first place. Even if we were actively looking for other employment. Even if, we were dreaming of finally taking that step to become an entrepreneur.

Because, it wasn't our choice, and it wasn't on our terms.

But what if... that's exactly what we need. What if we need to be a little shaken, a little outside our plan, a little outside the box to become what we're truly meant to become.

"Change is the only absolute in the world, the only thing that you can depend on. Nothing stays the same.Tomorrow will come, bringing with it new beginnings and sometimes unexpected endings. You can hold on to the past and get left in the dust, or you can choose to jump on the ride of life and live a new adventure with perseverance and an open mind."
I've heard it said that we get messages - from "life", God, "the universe" whatever greater or inner source you believe in - and that they start out so quiet, like a whisper. To hear those first messages, you have to be still and quiet and listening. And, let's be honest, how many of us make time or effort to do that? 
So then, in increasing levels in volume and intensity, the message continues. More often than not, it ends up being a banging gong that knocks us off our feet, leaving us with the wind knocked out of our chest laying on the ground saying "OK - I get it - I hear you!"

So what's the point? Well, it's going to happen. To all of us, sooner or later, if it hasn't already and it may happen again. Life is going to happen. There will be unexpected twists and turns that will throw us off our game. That will make us feel lost, sad, confused, out of control. 

Then what?

Like anything else that causes you stress in your life, the same things I share will help get you through it. Perhaps, I humbly suggest, with a bit more intensity.

My very best girlfriend lost her employment last week. She hated the job, she had been actively looking for other employment. She had recently interviewed with a new company. 

She was still devastated. She is still reeling. 
Yesterday, we met for lunch at our favorite winery. While we didn't come up with the answers, or even the next steps, just being together, sharing our thoughts, ideas and feelings, and of course - a couple glasses of wine - I could see a change in her. Just a loosening. Just the slightest drop in tension. Just the first glimpse of relief.
I am blessed that we will be road tripping this weekend and spending 3 days together at a conference where we can bond our brains out :)  


So when life happens to you next, grab your girlfriend, or 4 or 5 of them, and a bottle or 2 of wine, and take care of one another. Listen to one another. Be with one another. It's one of the things we do finest. And, it's one of the things we need the most.

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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Keeping Commitments

As women, we are wired to be pleasers, nurturers, care takers, problem solvers and issue resolvers. We care for our families, we care for our girlfriends, we care for our girlfriends' families, we care for our colleagues, our employees, our business associates. 

We take very seriously every commitment we make to every person in our lives. 

We would be horrified to let any of them down.

 


And this is a HUGE factor to our ever increasing stress levels. We are awesome, but we can't always do everything for everyone every day.




But this post is NOT about learning to say no to those around you.

This post is about learning to say yes to the most important person you need to be keeping your commitments to... YOURSELF!

How many of us have lists of things we want to do for ourselves, that get pushed to the side because we are busy keeping our commitments to everyone around us? Some of these commitments are simple, even trivial ... getting your hair cut, colored or highlighted. Exercising. Making a healthy lunch for yourself.
And that's why it's easy to justify, and dangerous.

When we run out hours in our day, the things that we cut out are almost ALWAYS our commitments to ourselves. If we always say no to the things we know are important to us, who will say yes to them?

I've noticed this happen to me this week. I'm cracking down on my diet and it's been hard to stay on track, but I have so far (the whole 3 1/2 days). BUT, my commitment to my half marathon training has gone by the wayside every one of those days this week, in order for me to keep a commitment to someone else in my life. My health, fitness and weight loss goals are important to me. I woke up today thinking... how will I reach them if I don't make MY needs a priority. 

We feel a sense of accomplishment and pride when we keep our commitments to others, why don't we feel the same accomplishment and pride when we keep them to ourselves. 

Who will say yes to your needs if not you? If you're super lucky, you have an amazing girlfriend that will rein you in and hold you accountable. So you keep your commitments to yourself ONLY in an effort not to let HER down. But it's better than nothing :) 

I'll be that girlfriend today. Pick 1 thing that you've told yourself you want to do for you this year, this month, this week. And make it a priority to keep your commitment to YOU. 

This is a habit we all need to develop!  


Share the 1 commitment you are going to keep to yourself this week! I'd love to hear them!

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