How many of you remember the old Enjoli commercial?
We’re led to believe that to be a “real woman” we need to be able to do it all, starting with “bringing home the bacon” while taking care of every household detail, keeping our children away from the TV and on a gluten free sugar free non-hormone fed organic diet and still have preternaturally shiny hair!!!
Women, especially women in business, ESPECIALLY women entrepreneurs, have a constant list of items and areas in their life that they are actively working to improve.
I've taken note recently that I apparently only have the ability to really be able to focus to achieve excellence in 2 or 3 areas of my life at a time.
Unfortunately, I have 5 or 6 that I actively want to achieve more in and be great in.
But as I try to "do it all"...
One week, I'll keep my commitment to myself to exercise and work with my dog every day but order take out 3 nights out of the week.
The next week, I'll keep my commitment to myself to work out 5 days that week but barely see my husband when he's home.
The following week, I'll plan and shop and prepare super healthy meals for my husband and myself but only take the dog for 2 short walks.
Something always seems to fall short.
And while I definitely excel at cleaning the kitchen while preparing an amazing meal, or listening to a great self help or motivational book while working out or walking my dog, or reading and sending emails while entering client orders, telling myself that I can focus on, and achieve true excellence in all these areas at the same time only serves to increase my frustration and stress level.
We're bombarded with images of celebrities who appear to be able to seamlessly and effortlessly "do it all" and more!
- Madonna is a Singer/Actress/Director/Fitness Guru/Mom
- Gwen Stefani is a Singer/Songwriter/Clothing Designer/Mom
- Beyonce is a Singer/Composer/Actress/Producer/New Mom
- Zooey Deschanel is an Actress/Musician/Blogger
- Jennifer Lopez is a Dancer/Singer/Actress/Producer/TV Judge/Clothing Designer/Mom
Work/Entrepreneur/Home/Mom/Wife/Best Friend/Fit and Active Woman/Healthy Meal Planner
Well, just a sanity check here, note that there are some celebrities who don't excel at "having it all".
- Nicky Hilton didn't inherit the "hotel" gene.
- Natalie Portman's new vegan-friendly line of footwear was a flop.
- The Kardashians are terrible at banking.
- Kim Basinger thought Georgia could be the Las Vegas of the South
- Suzanne Sommers wanted to help you prepare family meals.
- Supermodels Christy Turlington, Claudia Schiffer, Elle McPherson and Naomi Campbell couldn't quite get people excited about a new cafe.
No wonder at the end of the week, we always find ourselves with 30 things on our "to do" list that we never got around to.
So, to minimize your stress and frustration, my greatest tip is to ease up on yourself. Give yourself a break and don't expect to be able to multi task your way to all the things you're working towards all at once.
They say it takes 30 days to form a habit. I think realistically, it is more like 45-60.
First, you need to plan your schedule at least a week in advance, and honestly put on there all the things you have committments to, the non-negotiables first.
Then, honestly list and prioritize those things in your life you want to give focus to.
My list is:
- My husband - plan my schedule so that we can spend time together when his schedule permits
- My dog (kid) - actively engage, train and give quality time to
- My business - grow, expand and fully book my client calendar
- Get fit and strong - exercise 5-6 times per week to lose weight and get strong and fit
- Eat healthy - plan, shop for and prepare healthy meals to achieve our weight loss and fitness goals
- My friends - schedule and spend time with my friends
Use that month (or 45 or 60 days) to build a habit out of this focus.
Once your focus becomes a habit, it no longer requires as much of your focus.
You don't have to plan or squeeze in brushing your teeth, putting on your makeup, getting dressed or fixing your hair. Yet, you find time for those activites every day. (OK there may be days when you don't put on makeup or fix your hair, but I know you don't skip brushing your teeth!)Finally, be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up if the 4th, 5th and 6th place items on your priority list don't get done this week or this month. You'll focus on those next month, or next quarter. BUT by the time a year is out, you will have built strong healthy habits without stress and frustration and you'll be a whole lot closer to your goals!
That is because these things are simply habit. They happen on auto pilot, without you giving them much if any conscious thought.
Share in the comments what is on your list and what your top 2 items are.
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